The Legend of Zelda: The Awful Realm of Torture
by The Prince of Torture
Summary: This was inspired by "Ask the Zelda Crew" Do you like the characters from Twilight Princess? Have you ever wanted to ask them something or tell them to do something? If so, then you've come to the right place. Co-Written by MostazalsLord.
1. I captured the Zelda Cast!

ZeldaFan456: Wassup people! I finally accomplished my goal, I was able to capture The Characters from Legend of Zelda.

ZF(aka. Zeldafan456): So lets bring them out! (pulls lever).

Legend of Zelda characters: (Fall from nowhere)

Link: OW! I think I broke my neck!

Midna: (stand up and dusts off) Can you still move it?

Link: Uh, Yeah sorta.

Midna: Then it isn't broken.

Link: WAAH! You don't care about me!

Ilia: Shut up! Damn...

ZF: (Face palms) Hey! shut up and listen!

Zelda characters: (Look at ZF.) Who the hell are you?

ZF: I am your new dark master, and you will do as I say!

Link: pff! Yea right...

ZF: (pulls out AK-47) YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!

Link: AH! (Hides under table)

Zelda: Ssssoooooooo, now what?

ZF: Uh... I don't really know.

Midna: So you just captured us from the Nintendo co. for no apparent reason, which could get you sued?

ZF: (looks around) Yea, pretty much.

Midna: ...Okaaaaay then.

MostazalsLord: Ooh, ooh! (raises hand) I know! I know!

ZF: HOLY CRAP! MostazalsLord? When did you get here? I thought you lived all the way in Uruguay!

M-Lord (aka. MostazalsLord): Yea, so I live in Uruguay, your point?

ZF: How did you get from Uruguay to the United States?

M-Lord: (Looks around) Uh... I teleported here! I have awesome and DIVINE power!

ZF: Backdoor?

M-Lord: (sighs) Yep.

ZF: Well you should go, I can take care of this all by my-

M-Lord: I got Oreos!

ZF: OOH! OREOS! (Eats Oreos)

Zelda: Uh, If we're not gonna be doing anything I got this appointment at a salon so-

ZF: Silence! (Pulls out his AK-47) Now! You must... (Looks over to M-Lord) what must they do?

M-Lord: The Disclaimer.

ZF: Right, Thanks... (points gun back at characters) DO THE DISCLAIMER NOW!

Zelda characters: ZELDAFAN456 DOES NOT OWN THE LEGEND OF ZELDA!

ZF: So don't sue me Nintendo! I have no lawyers!

M-Lord: Like I was gonna say earlier, You should have the viewers send in dares and questions, so then you could force them to answer it.

Link: What? NOOO! CALL MY AGENT! THIS WASN'T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION!

Midna: Ugh, Zeldafan456, I hate you and damn you to hell.

Ilia: So long as I have a horse, I'll be fine.

ZF: Then you aint' getting one.

Ilia: No! (cries on floor)

ZF: hehehehehe. This is really fun.

M-Lord: I know, right?

ZF:Anyway, send in some dares and questions for the Zelda characters OR (Points AK-47 at Characters) They will all feel the wrath of Mr. Boom-Boom!

Link: AH! Send in some damn reviews!

Ilia: Our lives are on the line here!

Midna: And if I die, then I won't be able to come back in a sequel game!

You: (Gasp) OH NO! NOT MIDNA! WE WANT HER IN A SEQUEL!

M-Lord: (sighs) This is gonna be a LONG day...


	2. Mr Boom Boom

ZF: (Cleaning Mr. Boom-Boom) Yes Mr. Boom-Boom, don't worry you'll get to kill someone soon, just be patient. (laughs Maniacally)

Midna: ...You are by far, the craziest person I've ever met.

ZF: DON'T DENY THE POWER OF MR. BOOM-BOOM! (Randomly shoots Mr. Boom-Boom in the Air)

Ilia: Holy Shit!

ZF: No cussing in my realm! (slaps Ilia)

M-Lord: Dude! chill out! just read the reviews.

ZF: Are you sure this whole "review a dare" idea is gonna work?

Zelda Characters: (whispering) please say no, please say no, please say no!

M-Lord: Trust me, it'll work.

Zelda Characters: (whispering) Aw Goddammit!

ZF:Fine (points Mr. Boom-Boom at Link) Link, why don't you do it?

Link: 0.0 Okay then, This one is from an **_Anonymous Reader_,** and he is saying

_**LOL, I'm gonna try this out!**_

_**Link, try to get Midna to go on a date with you for the entire chapter.**_

_**Midna, Every time Link asks you about the date, punch him with your hair-hand.**_

_**Ilia, I hate you!**_

_**Zelda, learn Kung Fu' from Chuck Norris, then use it on Ilia.**_

_**See ya, and thanks for this chance!**_

Link: (re-reads review) I have to what?

Midna: You can't be serious.

M-Lord: You either do it, OR ZeldaFan's gonna use Mr. Boom-Boom on you.

ZF: (hugging Mr. Boom-Boom)

Link: Okay! damn. (runs over to Midna) Will you go out with me?

Midna: No. (punches Link in the worst place with her hand-hair)

Link: (kneeling on ground) Ow. (sniff) my children...

ZF: M-Lord?

M-Lord: Yea?

ZF: You were right, this F**king hilarious.

Zelda Characters: (glare at ZF)

ZF: Don't blame me. It was M-Lord's idea, If he didn't come, I would be in jail, and you guys would be back in the hands of the Nintendo Co.

M-Lord: gee, thx.

ZF: You're welcome!

Ilia: And why does everyone hate me?

ZF: Cause you stole Link from Midna, you Jackass! (Pulls out Mr. Boom-Boom)

M-Lord: NO! don't kill them! we don't have insurance!

ZF: Oh, right.

Link: (Runs to Midna again) If I paid you $500, then would you go out with me?

Midna: No. (punches Link in the face)

Link: DAMMIT!

Zelda: See you guys later.

ZF and M-Lord: Where are you going?

Zelda: to find Chuck Norris.

_**5 Hours Later.**_

Zelda: (Walks into room) Good news, I know Chuck Norris-style Kung Fu!

ZF: Now for the second part.

Zelda: Right. (round-house kicks Ilia's face)

Ilia: (jaw breaks) Owwww! My F**king Face! My BEAUTIFUL FACE! (starts sobbing)

M-Lord: That's what I call a Jawbreaker.

You: ...Dumbest...joke...ever.

ZF: Alright, I think we got everything we can from that review, on to the next one.

M-Lord: This one is From _**Midna3452.**_

ZF: Hey! that's a friend of mine!

_**Awesome, I'm glad you decided to put it up! Okay, here we go:**_

_**Ilia: Give up all your horses for a month. This means no petting them, going near them, or even LOOKING at them. (That should teach you for trying to steal Link away from Midna . . .)**_

_**Link: If you could be any type of cookie, which one would you be?**_

_**Midna: . . . Aw, man, I can't do anything to you! You're just too freakin' awesome! . . . Okay, um, just give Link a cookie whenever he asks for it. (Sorry if that makes him sugar-high.)**_

_**Zelda: Go without your hair products for a month. You and Ilia can suffer together and think about what you've done! (i.e. tried to take Link away from Midna!)**_

_**Well, I guess that's about it! Can't wait to see what'll happen! *evil laugh***_

Link: I would be one tough cookie!

Midna: they mean what type you would be stupid.

Link: Uh... I would be a sugar cookie, because all my fangirls think I'm sweet!

Midna: (facepalms)

Ilia: Why does everyone hate me, just because I knew Link longer which gives me a better chance of being his girlfriend?

ZF: Because, Midna's cooler, and she didn't lose her memory or get captured or anything you Idiot girls do.

Zelda: But I was barely in the Game at all!

ZF: I don't care, And neither will Mr. Boom-Boom if you keep defying my power!

Everyone, even you: 0.0

ZF: Ok, M-Lord, Midna, Link, and I are gonna go watch Smosh on YouTube, You two have to go the whole month without horses or hair care products.

Ilia and Zelda: (crying)

_**1 Month Later.**_

Guy on YouTube-Smosh video "Killer Teddy Bear": (Gets stabbed by some spear-thingie) AH! Oh No! I've been run through with a Javelin! Damn you teddy bear!

ZF, M-Lord, Midna, And Link: (LOLing)

ZF: I can't believe we sat here watching Smosh videos for a whole Month!

M-Lord: Yea, this hilarious! I really liked the Charlie, the Drunk Guinea pig" ones!

Midna: Well, it's time to check up on Ilia and Zelda.

ZF, M-Lord, Midna, And Link: (Walk into ZF's Torture Room)

Ilia: (in fetal position, sucking her thumb)

Zelda: (In corner, running her fingers through her tangled, frizzie hair) Its okay, we're still beautiful! We'll always be beautiful as long as we have each other, my beautiful, beautiful hair! (Laughs like a crazy person)

ZF: 0.0

M-Lord: 0.0

Link: 0.0

Midna: :)

You: 0.0

ZF: Are you talking to your HAIR?

Zelda: (sees ZF.) YOU MONSTER! GIVE ME MY HAIR-CARE PRODUCTS NOW!

ZF: OMFG! HELP ME MR. BOOM-BOOM! (pulls out Mr. Boom-Boom)

M-Lord: Here! just take some Shampoo! (Throws "Suave" shampoo and conditioner at Zelda.)

Zelda: YAY! TO THE SHOWER! (runs into bathroom.)

Link: (walks up to Ilia) Epona is in the parking lot.

Ilia: I'M COMING HORSIE! (runs out into the parking lot.)

ZF: Damn, I didn't get to use Mr. Boom-Boom.

M-Lord: I don't think you should kill them, at least not _yet._

ZF: But if Mr. Boom-Boom doesn't kill something soon, he's gonna come alive and kill us all!

Everyone except for ZF: 0.0

Link: (runs up to Midna) If I was rich and even more handsome, would you go out with me?

Midna: No (Punches Link)

Link: DAMMIT!

M-Lord: Heheh. Funny people hurt each other.

ZF: Whatever, This next one is From _**Lupine Eclipse **_and he/she is saying.

_**Have Midna shove a molten poker up Illia's backside, that horse freak has tormented me for far too long.**_

Midna: Wow, everyone DOES hate Ilia.

ZF: (pulls molten poker out of a fire) here you go Midna.

Ilia: (walks back into room) Thank the Gods of Hyrule I got to see a horse again.

Midna: (shoves molten poker up Ilia's *ahem* "rear end")

Ilia: OH MY FU**ING GOD! MY ***! (Running in circles with a poker up her *ahem* "Rear end")

Everyone, even You: (LOLing)

M-Lord: Alright, I think that's all the time we have, until next time.

Mr. Boom-Boom: (floats out from nowhere) NOT SO FAST! I NEED BLOOD! (Begins shooting at everyone)

Everyone: (screaming Bloody Murder)

ZF: I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!


	3. Another one?

Zelda characters: (Sitting in ZF's waiting room.)

Link: How long 'til the show starts?

Zelda: Any minute now.

Ilia: Now's our chance, we can escape from ZF's sick, torturous clutches!

Midna: You DO remember what happened last time we tried to escape, right?

Ilia: (Flashes back)

_ZF: BRING ON THE BOOM-BOOM!( Fires Mr. Boom-Boom at them)_

_Link: (crying under table)_

_Ilia: (on floor crying and holding her shot up leg)_

_Midna: (hiding in the corner)_

_Zelda: (on floor, bleeding)_

Everyone: (shudders)

M-Lord: (crashes through door) OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

Zelda: What? Who died?

M-Lord: We're under attack by communist Lizard demons!

Zelda characters: 0.0

Commie Lizard Demons: (break through same door M-lord did) YOU CANNOT ESCAPE OUR COMMIE POWA!

Everyone: AAAHHH!

ZF: (In other room) BRING ON THE BOOM-BOOM! (Begins shooting Commie Lizard Demons, then breaks through same door)

Link: (thinking) DAMMIT! I thought he was dead...

Lizard Demon: (sneaking up on ZF)

M-Lord: DUDE! behind you!

Some Chick: (breaks through some window and kills the Lizard Demon with a sword)

Remaining Lizard Demons: AH! We surrender to your Unholy Might ZF!

ZF: ...sweet. (turns around to the Chick) And who the hell are you?

Chick: What, you don't remember?

ZF: Uh... not really, no.

Chick: I'm **_Midna3452!_** You asked me to be on your show, remember?

ZF: Oh Right.

Zelda Characters: (whispering) Dammit! Not another one!

Midna3452: (turns to Link and Midna) Hey guys! nice to see you again!

Link and Midna: ?

Midna3452: Remember? You came out of my video game and had to live with me in my house? Remember? Link drank my dad's beer and came into the bedroom in the middle of the night screaming "Albatross! Albatross!" that one time? You knew me as Alex?

Link and Midna: Ooooh. Right, we remember now.

ZF: ENOUGH! I'm getting really bored from all this!

Zelda: (glaring at Midna3452) YOU MONSTER! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOOK AWAY MY HAIR-CARE PRODUCTS LAST CHAPTER!

Midna3452: Yea, hehehehe, that was funny.

ZF: Enough! Mr. Boom-Boom is tired from killing all those Lizard Demons, so we have to bring this Chappie to a close.

Midn3452: DANG IT! I just got here!

M-Lord: Don't worry, he writes these things really fast, you'll still be here in the next chapter.

ZF: Until Next time!

Everyone: BYE!

You: (muttering) DAMMIT! no dares...(sniff) I'm sad now...


	4. Hearts Broken, Epic Duels and a sister?

Everyone except for ZF: (sitting outside ZF's office)

M-Lord: Hey everyone, Welcome back, right now we're just waiting for ZF because his brother kept kicking him off the computer, so this chapter took longer than normal.

Link: M-Lord, when was the show supposed to start?

M-Lord: 2:00 P.M

Link: And what time is it right now?

M-Lord: (looks at watch) 7:00 P.M

Midna: Damn, he takes forever.

Midna3452: If he doesn't get out here soon (Pulls out Ninja Sword) I am gonna shove this right up his-

ZF: (Bursts through his office door holding reviews) HALLELUIAH!

Everyone except ZF: What?

ZF: We got some kick-ass reviews, and I beat _**Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic**_! It turns out the guy you play as is actually Darth Revan after he lost his memory!

M-Lord: Sweet.

Ilia: Me and Darth Revan have something in common then.

Midna3452: What are you waiting for? Let's hear the reviews!

ZF: YEAH! This one is from some one who's _**Too lazy to sign in **_ and it says:

_**Ask Ilia this:explain how a arrow in your back made you lose your memory?**_

_**Midna:Why the h**** did you break the mirror?**_

ZF: This isn't one of the kick-ass ones, I was just wondering what the answers were. (turns to Ilia) ...Well?

Ilia: What?

ZF: How would an arrow to the back make lose your memory?

Ilia: It didn't, after I got shot in the back with an arrow and was captured, those damn bulbins kept dropping me on the head when they were carrying me to wherever they were going.

M-Lord: Hehehe, Funny person got dropped on head as a baby.

Ilia: (gasp) how dare you? I wasn't dropped on my head as a baby!

Midna3452: Well, you act like a baby, and you got dropped on your head, close enough for me to accept it.

Everyone except Ilia: (nod in agreement)

Ilia: Screw all of you!

Midna3452: (turns to Midna) So why _did _you break the Mirror of Twilight?

Midna: (blushes and looks away) For whatever reason I did it, it's personal, and I shouldn't have to say it.

ZF: Well, we're not gonna make you say something you don't want to say, because we respect you and- (Grabs Midna by the neck) TELL US YOU TWILI DEMON!

Midna: AH! I did it because I couldn't handle being around Link anymore!

ZF: (let's go of Midna) What you mean foo' ?

Midna: I know what Link was thinking, that we would be together, and that we would live our lives together, but Light and Shadow can't mix, but I couldn't think of a way to tell him that we couldn't be together, so...I destroyed the only thing that kept us together.

Link: (staring blankly at Midna) You... didn't want to...

Midna: No, don't take it that way, it's just... It would've been impossible.

Link: (getting angry) SO WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT? ! ? I MAY BE STUPID, BUT I AINT' _THAT _STUPID!

3 Hosts: ... OMG DRAMA!

Link: Let's just get to the next damned review.

ZF: I think I should say this first. (looks at you through screen) Put some dares up for Link and Midna and their relationship, I like messin' with their hearts.

Link: ...You jackass.

Midna3452: This next one is from _**Mistress Xaneeva**_, and she says:

_**This made me laugh so hard that I have just got to try it! Link: I dare you to live in a room full of fan girls for 48 hours. Minda: I dare you to go make out with Ganondorf. Zelda: What type of boy are you interested in? Ilia: Well, I dont really like you and I think you are just a bad remake of Malon so just throw yourself off a bridge or something. And don't you dare touch Link for he is MINE! *hisses like a cat* XP**_

Link: Okaaay then (Looks at review( What? I refuse to live with a bunch of-

ZF: BYE! (throws Link into a room full of fangirls)

Midna3452: 0.0 , Where did you get all those fangirls?

ZF: I prepared for this chapter. hehehehehe...

M-Lord: Let's see how he's doing (turns on Security cam TV)

Fangirls: Get his shirt! Get his hair! Get his eyes!

Link: (Running like crazy) AH! what the (beep) is with all these (beep) (beep)! ZF, You mother (beep)!

Everyone, even you: (burst out laughing)

ZF: And now for the second dare. (pulls lever and Ganondorf falls from nowhere.)

Ganondorf: OW! Son of a (beep)!

Midna3452: Hey Ganondorf, want to kiss Midna?

Ganondorf: Uh... Sure.

Midna: Pucker up Ganny! (Makes out with Ganondorf)

Everyone in the room (besides Ganondorf and Midna): Eeeewww! (pukes in barf bags)

ZF: (takes pic of it) TO GOOGLE IMAGES! (runs into his office)

Midna and Ganondorf: (finally break off the kiss)

Ganondorf: ...Not Bad.

Midna: Eeehee! same here!

M-Lord and Midna3542: WOULD YOU SHUT THE (beep) UP! YOU'RE GONNA THE VIEWERS THROW UP! JUST LOOK!

Viewers (including you): (run into their bathrooms and puke in the toilet)

Midna: Right, sorry.

ZF: alright, Ganon you should stick around cuz' we got some reviews that require you.

Ganondorf: Sure, I can stick around.

Zelda: (thinking) Dammit, Not this pervert again.

Midna3452: (turns to Zelda) What kind of boy are you interested in?

Zelda: Uh... One that has a pulse.

Everyone: ...

M-Lord: Are you THAT desperate?

Zelda: Yea

Midna3542: Then maybe YOU should have kissed Ganondorf.

Zelda: Eeeewwwww! No way in hell.

ZF: (comes out his office) Let's hope Link doesn't look on Google Images and find that pic.

Ilia: I hate all of you. (jumps off Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco) Tell Epona I love Her!

_**48 hours Later, after Ilia got back from the emergency room...**_

ZF: Alright, times up bring Link out.

M-Lord: (Pulls lever and the door to the Fangirl pit opens)

Link: (Runs out of the Fangirl pit and slams door behind him) Never... Do That... AGAIN!

Midna3452: Alright! This next one is from, uh... You _**ZeldaFan456**_!

ZF: Oh God, I regret making that one.

_**Hey, this is Kinda awkward for me to dare my own story, but my 8-year-old sister found out that I had The Zelda Characters hostage so she now has Mr. Boom-Boom to my back. (Please help me!)**_

_**Little sister Jora: YAY! Time to play Twuth or Dare!**_

_**Link, I LOVES you, so I you're off the hook.**_

Link: Sweet! But your sister creeps me out.

ZF: She's also the leader of the Link Fangirl club.

Link: 0.0

_**ZeldaFan456 (Oh no what is she doing?) You, have to get in a gun dueal (haha she spelled it wrong.) With M-Lord.**_

M-Lord: are you insane? He's the Master of this Realm! And he's already prone to violence!

ZF: (Sharpening am axe) What?

_**Ilia, (This is gonna be good) I dare yuo (haha, she sucks at spelling) to drink 75 cups of coffee.**_

Ilia: Hmm. I wonder how that will end.

_**BYE!**_

_**(I'm sorry, my sister is CRAZIER THAN I AM.)**_

ZF: It's true!

M-Lord: This is gonna be good.

Everyone goes into ZF's Epic Arena of Epic Duel, Which has weapons on racks that line the arena walls.

ZF: Alright, This game is called _**Epic Duel!**_ The rules are simple, Defeat you opponent by downing him and forcing him to surrender, You are allowed to use any weapon available in the Arena and any method to achieve victory.

M-Lord: This is gonna be good ladies and gents!

Everyone besides ZF and M-Lord: (grabs popcorn and sits in the bleachers)

M-Lord: (picks a M-16 assault rifle off the wall) LET THE EPIC DUEL OF EPICNESS BEGIN! (Starts shooting at ZF)

ZF: Holy moley! (hides behind one of the barricade, then starts shooting back with Mr. Boom-Boom.)

_**The duel progresses much like this, so we're gonna skip some of it to save time...**_

ZF: (runs out of ammo for Mr. Boom-Boom) Dammit! You failed me Mr. Boom-Boom! YOU FAILED ME!

M-Lord: Ha! now you have to surrender!

Midna: Pay up Zelda!

Zelda: Dammit.

ZF: (grins evilly) Oh, I'm not gonna surrender, I'm gonna do this! (pulls out demonic canteen full of Coffee)

M-Lord: (gasps) Oh noes! Not the Coffee!

ZF: Yes, (laughs maniacally) the Coffee! (Drinks coffee, then turns into a coffee-craving Demon)

M-Lord: DAMMIT!

Coffee Demon ZF: (Demonic Voice) Now you will perish by my Unholy Powa! (shoots out of his fingers at M-Lord)

M-Lord: AH! (running away) I surrender!

ZF: (Changes back to normal) That was fun. But since I just don't like you little sis, I AINT' doing the last.

Ilia: YAY!

ZF: (takes out a sword and points it at Ilia) Don't think I'm doing this for you, Ilia!

Ilia: Ok! Ok! I get it!

ZF: Good.

ZF's Little sister, Jora: (comes out of nowhere)

Everyone except for ZF: HOLY CRAP! LITTLE DEMON!

ZF: So, We meet again...

Jora: You big Meanie! (Pulls out 44. magnum) Now must face Mini Boom-Boom!

ZF: (pulls out fully-loaded Mr. Boom-Boom) Bring it on!

ZF and Jora: (charging towards each other) DIE!

_**This next scene was so horrifically graphic, that NO Mortal should have to see it.**_

_**30 minutes later...**_

ZF and Jora: (covered in bullet wounds and blood)

Jora: You win this time, But I'll be back! (flies away)

ZF: And I'll be waiting (heals himself with his Unholy Powa)

Everyone except ZF: 0.0

ZF: Well, that's all the time we have, so until next time!

Everyone: Bye!


	5. ZF clones himself, WHA!

Welcome to chapter 5 of The Awful Realm of Torture.

Right now the Zelda cast is asleep, so I bet you're wondering, why are we starting a chapter in the middle of the frickin' night?

Don't worry, you're about find out...

ZF and M-lord: (doing something in ZF's lab)

ZF: Alright, I think the Persona Slicer is finished.

M-Lord: Explain to me again WTF this is?

ZF: The Persona Slicer can separate the personalities of a single person and two people with the certain personalities, For example if I were to set this to 'Insanity' And got in this booth...

_**Several hours later...**_

...And then, after all that, A non-crazy me would come from the first booth, and a totally insane me would come from the second one.

M-Lord: (snoring in sleep)

ZF: DUDE! WAKE THE (beep) UP!

M-Lord: (wakes up) Yes! I do believe in the Toilet Monkey!

ZF: 0_o Ok then... Anyway I'm gonna try it out, (sets it to awesome, then enters the booth.)

Persona Slicer: (starts making sound that would remind you of an old washing machine)

Link: (sleep walking [well, sleep running]) AH! Midna, get away from me with that Knife! (runs into the Persona Slicer and resets it to 'Evil')

M-Lord: UH-OH...

BOOM!

_**Several hours later...**_

Midna3452, M-Lord, and the Zelda Cast: (Standing it ZF's Lab)

Midna: You think he's okay?

Rest of the Zelda Cast: (thinking) Sure as hell hope not.

M-Lord: Wait! the doors are opening!

Both doors open and Two ZFs walk out from them.

1st ZF: Hey everyone. What happened?

Midna3452: You split yourself into an Evil ZF and a Good ZF.

2nd ZF: Shut the (beep) up, (mutters) bitch...

M-Lord: And its kinda obvious which is which.

Midna: OH YOU ARE GONNA _SO _GET IT! (pulls out a ninja sword and starts running towards the Evil ZF)

Evil ZF: (shoots lightning at her) HAHAHA! No Mortal can defeat my Unholy powa!

Good ZF: (steps in front of the lightning and deflects it) THATS NOT NICE!

The 2 hosts and Zelda Cast: T_T

Good ZF: What?

Midna3542: I say we kill both of them.

Good ZF: But (sniff) That wouldn't be very nice...

Midna3452: Do you think I care?

M-Lord: Let's just get these reviews done.

Link: Alright then, this one is from-

M-Lord: ME!

_**I was literally ,that was awesome!**_

_**It's questions & dares time!**_

_**Questions:**_

_**Link:What do you think about your fangirls?**_

_**Midna:How good are you at cooking?**_

_**Zelda:Do you like to get kidnapped?**_

_**Ilia:Why don't you quit complaining about everyone hating you?**_

_**Dares*grins like a mad*:**_

_**Link:Swim in a pool of chocolate(liquid chocolate of course)during five minutes(DON'T EAT IT),then get out(with the chocolate still covering you) and get inside a room with 20 fangirls for 20 minutes(ZF will make sure you can't get out)you must put up with whatever those fangirls do to 're not allowed to do anything except breath(and scream if you want).**_

_**Midna:You're AWESOME!But that won't save you from this dare*laughs maniacally*.Learn to dance tango and how to teach it in five minutes(you'll see why,but later).If you already know, well then...make cookies(they better be good)!.**_

_**Zelda:steal some cookies from ZF's kitchen AND survive his wrath(good luck,you're gonna need it).**_

_**Ilia:run away from an enraged crowd with torches and forks(yes,they hate you too...A LOT).**_

_**That's all for now.**_

Link: I think they are a bunch of bunch of deranged spychopaths.

Fangirls: (Break down door) There he is! GET HIM!

Link: AAHHH! I thought I lost you people in Canada! (runs out with 5000 Fangirls chasing)

Evil ZF: hehehehe... Green Guy get chased by chicks.

Good ZF: What you did to Link wasn't nice at all M-Lord!

M-Lord: You're only saying that because you're not pure Evil anymore.

Evil ZF: (sharpening an axe with Ilia tied to a pole behind him) Did someone say Evil? Where? I LOVE EVIL!

Midna: (looks at review) I suck at cooking, I tried to make some food for Link once and well...

Link: My stomach had to be pumped.

Good ZF: (crying) That's so sad!

Evil ZF: What are you talking about, thats freaking hilarious!

Good ZF: (gasp) How dare you say that?

M-Lord and Midna3452: Would you two shut the hell up!

Zelda: No, I do not like being kidnapped! Ganondorf justs thinks I'm sexy hot!

Everyone else (except for Evil ZF): (Barfs in Barfbags)

Evil ZF: Hehe... Ganondorf must be blind.

Zelda: (gasp) I find that very offensive!

Evil ZF: Good.

Ilia: Uh... (looks at review) I don't stop complaining because ZF told me to cuz' he thinks it makes this funnier.

Good ZF: Well I was wrong, but keep doing it!

Evil ZF: (throws Link into a vat of liquid Chocolate)

Link: AH! I'm in a vat of POO!

Everyone, even Good ZF: (burst out in laughter)

Good ZF: (picks Link out of the vat of chocolate) I'm sorry sir, but I must do this (Throws Link into Fangirl pit)

Midna3452: And the best thing is that the fangirls haven't been fed in 3 weeks, so the chocolate isn't gonna help Link much.

Good ZF: Well that isn't very nice!

M-Lord: Would you shut up already! (looks at you through the screen) GIVE US A REVIEW BRING ZF BACK TO NORMAL AND GET RID OF THESE TWO BASTARDS!

Good and Evil ZF: Hey! (look at each other)

Evil ZF: ... It's probably for the best that we get brought back into our normal, single self.

Good ZF: For once, I agree with you. (looks at you through the screen) HELP US BEFORE WE KILL EACH OTHER!

Midna: (looks at review) I already know how to tango, so I'll make some cookies. (runs into ZF's Kitchen)

Good and Evil ZF: If you touch my cookies, I'll rip your heart out and crush it with a mallet!

Zelda Cast and the 2 hosts: (look at Good ZF)

Good ZF: Hey, I may be the good one, but no mortal may eat my cookies!

Midna3542: (Pulls a blood-covered, crying Link out of the fangirl pit.)

Link: (Crying) Why Goddesses! WHY!

Midna: (runs out of ZF's kitchen with a plate of crappy looking cookies) Hey Link! Try my cookies! (shoves them all in Links mouth.)

Link: (face turns green)

Everyone: Uh-Oh...

_**5 hours later, after Link went to the hospital...**_

Link: (kicks door down) I had to get my frigging stomach pumped! AGAIN!

Everyone: (Playing BlackJack) What?

Link: T_T I can't believe you people.

M-Lord: Hey, Zelda and the ZF's are gone!

_**Meanwhile...**_

Zelda: (sneaking out of ZF's kitchen with a HUGE cookie jar) I love cookies...

ZFs: (jump out of nowhere) FEAR OUR POWER! (shoot Lightning at Zelda)

Zelda: AH! (runs to the exit of the kitchen while the ZF's, Coffee Demons, Super Gun Robots, and Boobytraps tried to kill her)

_**Back with the rest of the cast...**_

Zelda: (runs out of ZF's kitchen covered in blood and holding a cookie jar) ZF is Crazy!

Ilia: (running away form an angry Ilia-hating crowd) WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME! ? !

The hosts: Sorry, but we should probably bring this chappie to a close, send in some reviews to help us the ZF problem and for, well, to beat the crap out of the Zelda Cast.

Hosts: BYE!


	6. Summer Special! Part 1

Hosts and Zelda Cast: (On a bus on the highway)

Link and Good ZF: (sticking their heads out the window) WOO! IT'S SUMMER VACATION (beep)TCHES!

Evil ZF: (Drinking coffee and flipping off every passing vehicle)

M-Lord: Hey everybody! If you haven't guessed, IT BE SUMMER VACATION!

Good ZF: And this our 5-chapter-long SUMMER SPECIAL!

Zelda: And ZeldaFan decided to actually be nice for once, by taking us to the best Amusement Park in North-West America...Silver Wood!

ZFs: It better be with it! Those tickets weren't cheap!

Midna: (Filing her nails) Are we there yet?

Good ZF: No.

Midna:... How about now?

M-Lord: No.

Midna: ...How about-

Evil ZF: Just shut the hell up and be patient for once in your pathetic, mortal life!

Midna: (Gasp) How dare talk like that to a princess? ! ?

Midna3452: (pulls out ninja sword) everyone shut up! I'm trying to play my DS! (goes back to playing the Nintendo DS)

M-Lord: How long do you think it's gonna be until we get there?

Good ZF: (looks at watch) about 2 hours.

Evil ZF: And what are we gonna do 'til then?

Good ZF: REVIEWS! (pulls out stack of reviews)

Zelda Cast: (whispering) OH GODS NO!

Good ZF: Let's see...Oh, here's one from the_** Twilight-Prince**_!

Midna: What are you talking about! I don't have a brother!

_**Great idea ZF. Hehehe...**_

_**Midna- Summon Zant here and KICK HIS ASS! He's caused you enough anger.**_

Midna: Hmm.. Maybe I _do _have a brother.

_**Link- Stop being such a coward! Don't you have the triforce of courage?**_

Midna: Oh yeah, he has to be my brother.

Link: Hey!

_**Ganon- Please appear and turn into scary piggy.**_

_**That is all.**_

Midna: I can do that. (summons Zant through a warp portal)

Zant: YO! YO! What be up (beep)tches!

Zelda Cast: ... T_T

Zant: What? can't the Zant-Man be gangsta' ?

Midna: ...NO. (kicks him in a bad place)

Zant: OW! GODS DAMMIT!

Midna: (ties him to the bumper of the bus, then throws him off) I think that should cause him enough pain.

Zant: (being dragged by the bus.) OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

Hosts and Zelda Cast: hehehehe...Dumb ass

ZFs: and just to ask all the viewers... Can you make the reviews longer, funnier, and sometimes inappropriate? Remember, We allow _ANY_ dare and _ANY_ question, _ANYTHING_ you want them to do, and we _WILL_ make them do it.

Link: I'm no coward! I just like to avoid dying.

Midna: yea right, coward.

Link: Am not!

Midna: are too.

Link: am not!

Midna: are too.

Link: AM (beep)ING NOT!

Midna: ...Are too.

Ilia: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Good ZF: Thank you, Ilia. (pulls lever and Ganondorf falls out of the sky, hits the ground, and becomes a Gerudo-Pancake.)

Everyone: Daaaang! Ouuuch!

M-Lord: hehehe. Gerudo-Pancake...funny.

Good ZF: I don't think we'll be able to do that last part... NEXT REVIEW!

Zelda Cast: Can't we wait til' we get to Silver Wood? (get down on their knees and start begging with puppy-dog eyes) Pleeeeeeeease?

Good ZF:(Silently crying) That was (sniff) Beautiful. Alright.

Zelda Cast: YAY!

_**2 hours later**_

Everyone: (on Main street of Silver Wood) SILVER WOOD! YEA!

ZFs: Now let's do a review, Congrats _**Shadicx**_!

_**Ooooh, I have a few. Prepare yourself for the craziness...**_

_**Link and Midna: DO THE SCIENCE DANCE FROM ADVENTURE TIME!**_

_**Zelda: Tell Ganondorf you love him until he makes out w/you.**_

_**Ilia: HAVE A FIGHT TO THE DEATH WITH MALON!**_

Link: I think we can do that. (starts doing stuff the episode "Ricardio" From Adventure Time)

M-Lord and Midna: (Talking about stupid Science stuff)

Good ZF: (walks up to Link) Whats wrong Link?

Link: They're talking about Science, I can't compete with that!

Good ZF: Just do the Science Dance, I think went like this (Starts doing cool, robot moves) Wonh! wonh wonh! Yea, that's how it goes.

Link: You think I should?

Good ZF: Yea Dude! Try it!

Link: Alright... (starts doing the Science Dance) SCIENCE DANCE! SCIENCE DANCE! SCIENCE DANCE!

M-Lord and Midna: (still talking about stupid Science stuff)

Link: (Runs [Well, dances] up to them) SCIENCE DANCE! Hey Princess! Wanna spend some time with me?

M-Lord: You must excuse me princess. (Walks away)

Midna: Oh,Okay. (Turns to Link) Link, what the cabbage? I was talking to M-Lord!

Link: Just dance with me Dammit.

Midna: ...Aw, what the heck. (starts doing the Science Dance with Link)

Link and Midna: SCIENCE DANCE! SCIENCE DANCE!

Evil ZF: CUT! That's a wrap!

Good ZF: On to the next part.

Zelda: Isn't Ganondorf dead?

Good ZF: Let's see (pulls levers and Ganondorf falls out of nowhere)

Ganondorf: WHY THE HELL DO I KEEP FALLING OUT OF THE DAMN SKY! ? !

Zelda: (runs up to Ganondorf) Ganon, I love you! I love SO much!

Ganondorf: ...I feel a little uncomfortable.

Midna3452: Just kiss her dammit.

Ganondorf: Really? Okay! (Grabs Zelda and makes out with her.)

Everyone: Eeeeeewww! (puke in barf bags)

Zelda and Ganondorf: (break off the kiss)

Ganondorf: People must love me if they let me make out with all the hot chicks!

Zelda: (slaps Ganon) Excuuuse me, but I must go vomit now. (runs into public bathroom)

Everyone: ...

Midna3452: Alright, on to the next part (text messages Malon)

Ilia: (gulps dramatically)

Malon: (crashes through the gates of Silver Wood) I'm here to destroy my crappy re-make!

Ilia: T_T ZF, Can I borrow Mr. Boom-Boom?

Good ZF: Sure, here you go. (hands her Mr. Boom-Boom)

Ilia: BRING ON THE BOOM-BOOM! (shoots at Malon)

Malon: Holy Goddesses! (takes out M-16 and fires back)

_**Several hours later, after the rest of the gang went on awesome rides...**_

Malon: (falls over and dies)

You: DAMMIT! I had money going for Malon!

Your Friend: Pay up!

You: Dammit.

Ilia: (stares at Mr. Boom-Boom) Mr. Boom-Boom... I... I think... I think I love you! (makes out with Boom-Boom[I don't see how thats possible since he is a gun])

ZFs: HEY! Give us back Mr. Boom-Boom!

Ilia: (hisses like a cat and continues to make out with the gun)

Everyone, even you: 0.o

Zelda and Midna: (about to vomit)

Link: (staring greedily at Ilia)

Midna3452: (whispering) ...Pervert.

Link: HEY!

Good ZF: Now lets go on some rides!

Zelda Cast: YAY!

ZFs: To "The After Shock" Roller Coaster!

Everyone: (standing at the entrance to "The After Shock)

Midna: So... what is this exactly?

Good ZF: Just 75 MPH speeds of pure Awesomeness!

Link: (jumping up and down like a little kid) I want to go! I want to go!

Evil ZF: (slaps Link) Shut up fool! We're getting on right now!

Link: YAY!

Midna3452: (face-palms)

_**After they rode the After Shock...**_

Everyone: (walks off the ride)

Midna: (pukes on Midna3452)

Midna3452: Eeeewww!

Zelda: (also pukes on Midna3452)

Midna3452: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!

M-Lord: (pukes on Midna3452 as well)

Midna3452: WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP (beep)ING PUKING ON ME!

Link: I thought that was boring! After Shock sucks!

ZFs: 0_0

Link: ...What?

ZFs: ... No comment...at all...

Link: Damn you all to hell.

Evil ZF: Believe me, being stuck with us is 20 times worse than hell.

Link: True, so true.

Hosts: ...

Zelda Cast: ...

Good ZF: ... NEXT REVIEW!

Midna3452: This one is from _**RheaTheWingedWolf **_!

_**Lol. I have a few dares to add...**_

_**Midna: You're my fav Twilight Princess character, so you get to chase Link around the room trying to turn him into a wolf.**_

_**Link: You have to try to get away from Midna.**_

_**Zelda: You have to go on a date with Ganondorf.**_

_**Ganondorf: You have to go on a date with Zelda.**_

_**Ilia: You have to be locked in a tiny room for a week with no horses.**_

_**Please use these!**_

Good ZF: Well congrats! because I'm using them!

Midna3452: Midna, you know what to do.

Midna: (smiles evilly) Oh, I do know. (takes out transforming crystal)

Link: Oh no.

Midna: C'mere you! (chases Link all over Silver Wood)

_**30 minutes later...**_

Link: (hiding in a garbage can) She'll never find me! I'm too freaking smart for her!

Midna: Here, Linky Linky Linky! Come on out...

Link: (thinking) Moron...

Midna: Ugh... (holds stomach) I don't feel so good... OH GODS! (runs up to the trash can Link was hiding in and pukes in it)

Link: Eeeeewwww!

Midna: Found you! (turns him into a wolf)

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) Dammit! First you puke on me and now you turn me into a wolf? Do you KNOW how it will take for me to clean out my fur now?

Midna: Oh shut up, you furry crybaby.

Hosts: How is everything over here?

Wolf Link and Midna: The usual.

Midna: Where is Zelda?

Midna3452: (looks around) You don't want to know.

_**Meanwhile, with Zelda and Ganondork**_

Zelda and Ganondorf: (at a fancy restaurant)

Ganondorf: So... wanna make out?

Zelda: No!

Ganondorf: ...How about now?

Zelda: NO!

Ganondorf: ... C'mere you! (kisses Zelda)

Zelda: (pukes all over Ganon)

_**Back with the Hosts**_

Hosts: (shooting each other in battle-zone tanks)

ZFs: Hahahaha! no one can defeat us!

Midna3452: (shoots the ZFs and gets them out) I just defeated you.

ZFs: Dammit.

Midna: Lets check on Ilia shall we, my trusty steed? (jumps on Wolf Link's back)

Wolf Link: (falls down from the sudden weight on his back) Ugh... So...Heavy...

Midna: Are you saying I'm fat?

Wolf Link: (looks around) Uh... MAYBE.

Midna: (punches Link) LET'S GO!

Wolf Link: AH! OK! I'm going!

_**In a small metal room...**_

Ilia: (pounding the walls with a mallet) LET ME OUT SO I CAN SEE A FREAKING HORSE!

_**Back with our Hosts...**_

Hosts: (sitting and eating slushies)

Good ZF: (sigh) Today was pretty nice, you know?

Midna3452: Yea, I hope this lasts.

Evil ZF: (puts down his slushie and takes out a sniper rifle)

M-Lord: 0_0 What are you doing with that rifle?

Evil ZF: waiting to assassinate Garfield the cat.

The other hosts: T_T

Evil ZF: Don't judge me, fools.

Good ZF: Anyway it seems Part 1 of our Summer Special is at its end, but Part 2 will be even better!

M-Lord: And ZF plans to have some guest stars come over for the next few chappies.

Midna3452: Like a certain Deranged Twili.

Evil ZF: And some one more Evil than me and the Devil put together.

Good ZF: So leave some EXTRA-SPECIAL reviews for our awesome 5-chapter-long SUMMER SPECIAL!

Midna3452: Until next time!\

Everyone: Bye!

Evil ZF: (sees Garfield, and snipes his head off) YES! FINALLY THE WORLD IS RID OF THAT FAT SON OF A (beep)!


	7. Summer Special! Part 2

M-Lord and Link: (playing Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)

Midna3452: (writing a fanfic on her computer)

Zelda and Ilia: (talking about Goddesses know what)

ZF: (jumps out of nowhere) I DEMAND OREOS! NOW! UNLESS YOU WISH TO ME CEASE YOUR EXISTENCE!

Midna: Hey...wait a sec (pauses to think) what happened to your Evil half?

ZF: (Flashes back)

_Evil ZF: Ok, it is finally time for us to come back into our one, unholy being-_

ZF: (stops the flashback) Wait! no mortal can know about that!

Link: Why not?

ZF: Because I said so now LEAVE ME ALONE!

Everyone: O_O'

Ilia: whats up with him?

M-Lord: He's mad because there have been barely any reviews lately.

ZF: (cutting his wrists) (muttering) Stupid reviewers. Not reviewing my story. They. Will. PAY.

Everyone else: O_O'

Link: Ooooooookaaaay...

Midna: Please review his story, he's starting to creep the HELL out of us.

ZF: (watching SAW III) Yes...More blood...More gore...

Ilia: (grabs ZF's shoulder) Listen, you'll get more reviews, you just-

ZF: GET YOUR MORTAL HANDS OFF OF ME!

Everyone: O_O'

M-Lord: Dude, you to stop and think for a second and-

ZF: (smiling) M-Lord?

M-Lord: What?

ZF: (Still smiling) Shut the hell up before I make you wish you never existed.

M-Lord: ...Ooooookaaaaay...

ZF: OH, wait. my name on here is changing to "The Prince" for two reasons. Number one, I changed my Pen name to that so I'm doing it here too. Number two, People should know how (beep)ing awesome I am!

Link: NOOOOO! (points at Zelda and Midna) We already have 2 royal snobs here and I don't think we can handle another!

Zelda and Midna: Hey!

The Prince (a.k.a ZF): Silence! M-Lord, punish the Green-Clad Dumb ass!

M-Lord: YAY! (walks away)

Link:Uh... phew. I thought he was gonna torture me or something.

Midna:Well, he didn't...did he?

M-Lord:He's right there ladies!

(ground begins to tremble)

Link:What's that?

M-Lord:(walks towards Link and pours liquid caramel over the hero)

Link:what the (beep)? !

M-Lord:Oh ladies, dessert is ready!

Link: wha...?

Random fangirl: (breaks down the door) I call for his chest!

Another random fangirl: I call for his lower part!

Zelda: O.O

Link: Holy goddesses! (runs as fast as he can with several hungry fangirls chasing after him)

M-Lord and The Prince: :)

Midna: That was not nice at all!

The Prince: You can run after him too...if you wish.

Midna: (blushes) I...

Midna3452: Huh, what you say?

Midna: I won't!

M-Lord: Even knowing those chicks are gonna...hm... how to put it...TASTE him?

Midna: I-I...(stutters)

The Prince: Oh, look Midna! They almost got him...whoa, that was a close one.

Midna:(Fuming) Stay away from him you (beep)ches!

Midna3452: Oh, what was that? Is the Twilight Princess a little bit...jealous? (grins evilly)

Midna: (gasps then covers her mouth with her hands)

The Prince:You know princess, I could arrange some private time for both of you...shall you ask me to.

Midna:(blushes so much her face turns red like a tomato)

M-Lord: We'll take that as a yes.

Midna:(faints)

Midna3452: YAY!

M-Lord:hmm...maybe that was too much for her to handle.

Link:(still running away from the fangirls) Don't touch me!

M-Lord:hehehehe, how amusing. And to think I still have plenty of ideas to disrupt Link's peace.

Ilia:ouch, poor Link.

The Prince:I'm kinda hungry

Midna3452: Me too

M-Lord:I still have some of the liquid caramel I poured over Link, you want some?

Ilia:yeah!

Zelda:um, M-Lord?

M-Lord:yes?

Zelda:is Ilia getting some as well?

M-Lord:less than the rest of us, of course.

Ilia: :(

M-Lord: you should thank me for the fact that I bother to share some with you, dumb horse lover.

Midna3452: Shut up! I'm working on my new fic! (runs back to her computer)

Zelda: what about Link and Midna?

M-Lord:ah, they'll be fine. I'll get some food for them later. (scoops some liquid caramel) hmm, this is good stuff, not as good as mint ice cream, but still good.

Everyone Else:I wanna! (they begin to eat some liquid caramel.)

_**Several hours later, after Link and Midna got out of their situations...**_

Link: (covered in scratch marks, blood, and small spots of dried caramel) I've been violated in some very bad places.. (sniff)

Midna: Yeah, well... (blushes) at least you weren't embarrassed...

Link: what is she talking about?

Midna3452: M-Lord was messin' with her emotions.

M-Lord: Yea... So, Midna, IF you ask me and The Prince nicely you might get some private time with Link

Midna: (Blushes) I...uh...um...well...

Link: WHAAAAAAAAAT! ? !

The Prince: Any who... Time to meet our new guests! (pulls a microphone) Ladies and gentlemen! now introducing our first guest, if you've read my other Zelda fic you know him for sure! The psycho-Twili who is only 14...Danzik Zodarro!

Danzik:(unsheathes his sword)

Link and Midna: Oh no! not this Psychopath!

Danzik:(attempts to slash M-lord)

M-Lord:(unsheathes his sword and intercepts his strike)

Danzik:Dammit! That was fast!

M-Lord:Danzik... how nice too see you.

Danzik:Oh really? ! ? (attempts to slash M-Lord once again)

M-Lord: (intercepts Danzik's strike once more, this time disarming him)

Danzik:oh crap...

Everyone else: (staring at the fight)O.o

M-Lord: (places his sword just a few inches away from Danzik's throat)

Midna3452: Don't kill him!

The Prince: At least not yet!

M-Lord: Fine. (puts his sword)

Danzik: I still wish I wasn't here!

The Prince: Silence! I created you and you shall do as I say! (takes out a microphone) Now introducing our second guest! She stands about 3 inches tall, has a blue glow, has wings, and could make you're head explode just by talking...Navi!

Navi: (flies out of nowhere) HI!

Zelda Cast: (crying)

Link: Why goddesses? Why must we suffer this torture beyond Hell?

Zelda: We already have to deal with him! (points at M-Lord)

M-Lord:Hey!

Navi::)

Zelda Cast: OH (beep)!

Navi: (takes a deep breath.)

Midna3452:no, no, no, don't-

Link and Zelda: HIT THE DIRT! (Duck and covers and puts in earplugs)

Navi: HEY! HEY! LOOK OUT! LISTEN! LOOK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY!

_**Several hours later...**_

Navi: HEY! HEY! HEY! LOOK OUT! LISTEN! LOOK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY!

Ilia: (on floor holding her bleeding ears)

The Prince: (Twitching) (ears bleeding)

Midna: (ears bleeding) Oh, you've done it now Navi.

Link: Hey Navi guess what?

Navi:HEY What? HEY

The Prince: (Takes out a Royal Torture Sword) IT IS TIME TO DIE YOU BUG FROM HELL!

(Camera shuts off) Please wait until further notice.

(a stupid song that is usually used as elevator music plays for twenty hours)

You: (twitching) What the hell is with this music?

(Camera turns back on)

Navi: (On floor Bleeding)

The Prince: I feel better now.

M-Lord: nice,she's-

Navi:(somehow comes back from dead)

Everyone:O.O

Navi: :D

Midna3452:I thought The Prince killed you

Navi:Yes but...I'm BACK!

Everyone: (thinking) DAMMIT!

Midna3452: You two DO realize the risk you're taking right?

Danzik and Navi: Yeah, all you people at home can review us too!

The Prince: In fact, as a Summer Special treat to all you people out there, you can review Me and the other hosts during the Summer Special!

Other Hosts: WHAAAAAAAT! ? !

the Prince: (laughs evilly) Thats right! good luck trying to torture us! (mutters) You'll need it...

Hosts: Review time!

The Prince: this one really caught my attention! It's from... _**MostazalsLord**_!

M-Lord: THAT'S MEEEEE!

Zelda Cast: (crying)

_**Extra-special, LONGER, funnier and sometimes inappropiate reviews?*slowly smiles bearing no good intentions whatsoever*. Fine,you asked for it. HERE IT GOES!**_

_**QUESTIONS:**_

_**Link:What happens if you get sugar high for a whole hour in an amusement park with Midna?What kind of crazy things could happen?Tell us please and I'll give you an oreo(as long as The Prince of Torture doesn't gets it before).**_

_**Midna:A lot of people thinks you're the best sidekick Link had so far(In case you didn't know,yes, he met other girls before you and yes, you can slap him if you want).Did you ever wonder why?If so,could you tell us?.Also,I believe he's something more than a friend for I right or wrong?Come on,just tell us, it's not like a random fangirl will kill herself because of that.**_

_**Random fangirl-What?**_

_**M-Lord-ehm,ignore her,everything will be fine(as long as I don't let her near a knife).**_

_**Zelda:What do you think about the relationship Midna has with Link?Do you happen to feel a little bit,uhmmm...jealous,maybe?.Ah,one more thing: if you wanted to, could you kiss Ganaondorf and NOT to puke(I think that's hard,but it is possible for you?)?**_

_**Ilia:are you having fun right now at Silver Wood?*pulls out a bazooka*because, I'm pretty sure you're not meant to*aims at her,waiting for the correct answer*be quick,I'm running out of patience.**_

_**DARES(you didn't think I would forget this,did you?):**_

_**M-Lord-So...it's summer,eh?Do you know that gives me several ideas?**_

_**Link-(beep)!**_

_**Link:I dare you to go to a beach in a sunny day(there will be a lot of heat), wearing ONLY(that's right,no shirts,pants or anything else) ten coats for winter(aha,if you take those off,you'll be naked) .Ah,by the way,the beach is overrun with fangirls don't know you're under those for the rest hosts and characters:stay away from Link during this dare.**_

_**Well,Link...you must remain there for the whole day and make up excuses for those fangirls who get near you to ask why are you wearing coats will be glued,so if you try to remove one,you'll be removing ,you can't drink anything,you can't eat anything and you cannot get in the water UNLESS,you take off you coats(those coats are way too expensive to let them get wet)**_

_**I'm pretty sure you know what's gonna happen if you try to refresh yourself(the fangirls will realize you're there and...well,you know what's next,specially under those circumstances).Try not to swear,you'll need the breath for the run.**_

_**Midna:get a swimsuit and wear it as you give a walk on the beach.A lot of dudes,fanboys and non-fanboys alike,will run to you asking for an autograph,but since you wont have a pencil in that moment,you can choose to either,politely saying "sorry,I don't feel like giving autographs" or slapping every one of them in the face yelling "screw you!".Regardless of your choice,they will be staring at you...drooling.**_

_**Once you're done with that(hands her some money), you can go get an ice cream(you can choose any flavor).Nonetheless, the dudes from the beach will be still,staring and you(and drooling).**_

_**Then you can say "knock it off you perverts!".**_

_**Once they hear that,they will leave you alone with your ice cream,however, if the flavor you chose was minth, I SWEAR FOR THE GODDESSES I'M STEALING IT(cannot resist minth)!.**_

_**M-Lord-You guys think I'm done? Pfff! No way! I'm not done yet!**_

_**Everyone but M-Lord- oops,he took the "longer" part very serious.**_

_**M-Lord-Oh,hell yeah! Of course I did! Rawr!**_

_**Zelda and Ilia-(beep) you M-Lord!**_

_**You thought I forgot about you?If you did...you thought wrong! Buahahahahaha!**_

_**Ilia-sh(beep)...**_

_**Zelda:Eat a cookie and make a HUGE sand about how awesome it is until either, Ganondorf or The Prince of Torture come to destroy they do that,you can cry if you wish OR kick Ganondorf wherever you want(don't try to do anything against The Prince of Torture if you wanna live to taste another cookie).I also dare you to watch Barney for a full hour...without blinking.**_

_**Ilia:Well,I still don't know how you overcame the lawyer thing,but that's beside the ...I dare you to try to tame the mythological sea horse,without any may wonder if he exists...yes,he does,but you must find him on your you ever happen to find and tame him,I'll let you ride him for a couple of hours(unless The Prince of Torture has other plans),before slaying him because I don't like to see you happy(no,I don't hate you,I just dislike you).I also dare you to*calls Epona*stare at Epona...WITHOUT petting her(if you do,I'll make you watch several pictures of horses getting...mauled).**_

_**And as for what concerns to this chapter,I must say I laughed plenty of fic amuses me to no end,indeed.**_

_**Summer vacation!Nice!**_

_**Zant: YO! YO! What be up (beep)tches! (Nothing dude, you're getting tortured,that's all :P.)**_

_**Your Friend: Pay up!**_

_**You: Dammit. (There it goes my lunch money.)**_

_**Midna3452: WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP (beep)ING PUKING ON ME! (S-sorry.)**_

_**Midna: Ugh... (holds stomach) I don't feel so good... OH GODS! (runs up to the trash can Link was hiding in and pukes in it).**_

_**(No good food I guess, or way too much movement.)**_

_**Ganondorf: ... C'mere you! (kisses Zelda)**_

_**Zelda: (pukes all over Ganon) (I knew that was gonna happen!)**_

_**Wolf Link: (falls down from the sudden weight on his back) Ugh... So...Heavy...**_

_**Midna: Are you saying I'm fat?**_

_**Wolf Link: (looks around) Uh... MAYBE. (Ok,but that was not very polite!)**_

Link: You want me to be polite? Then go (beep) yourself with all the (beep)ing (beep) (beep)!

_**Evil Zf,killed Garfield,hmmmm,lol? xD.**_

Link: We already found out what would happen (looks at Midna, then blushes as he looks away) and I refuse to go into detail.

Midna: (slaps Link) You deserve that for seeing other people.

Link: But we're not even going out!

Midna: (mumbling) I wish we were... Ahem, no I never wondered about it, It's obvious because I actually killed things in the game instead of just sitting and watching.

Midna3452: Like What?

Midna: I killed Zant!

Link: (mumbling) I did most of the work though...

Midna Shut up Wolf-Boy! (looks at review) Why does this question always come back to haunt me! ? !

M-Lord: Come on! Just answer it! We're all friends here!

The Prince: (cough) no we're not (cough)

Midna: Uh...well...I...

Link: Midna? AM I more than a friend?

Midna: (begins stuttering)

The Prince: (slaps her) SPEAK CLEARLY WOMAN!

Midna: OK! OK! DAMN! (sighs) I guess you could say we're more than friends...I guess.

Link: ...REALLY?

Midna: (smirks) Sure, but don't get used to the Idea. Cuz' I'm still gonna be Evil to you.

Link: But we ARE more than friends, right?

Midna: (sighs) YES! OK! YES! DAMN!

Hosts: FINALLY! WE GET THE TRUTH!

The Prince: And to all you ZeLink fans...LAY OFF! this is MY story! Not yours! I can do what I want!

Zelda: (looks at Review)No, I'm NOT jealous of them. Midna can have that Green-Clad Moron.

Link: HEY! I'm right here!

Zelda: Good!

The Prince: (face-palms) I'm goin' on break, Midna3452 can take over for me...FOR NOW.

Midna3452: SWEET! (smiles evilly)

M-Lord: (pulls out a Bazooka) Better hurry up give me the right answer, Ilia.

Ilia: (get down on her knees) PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME! (breaks down crying)

M-Lord: Time's up! (pulls trigger and... a little sign that said "Bang!" fell out of it! LOL)

Everyone except for Ilia: (busts up laughing)

Ilia: THAT WASN'T FUNNY!

Midna3452: Are you serious? That was hilarious!

Ilia: (grumble grumble)

M-Lord:Now for Link's Dare

_**Meanwhile, on a beach...**_

Link: (naked and wearing so many coats you can't even tell he's there) May the Goddesses of Hyrule help me...I'm doomed...

Random Fangirl: what are you doing here?

Link: What does it (beep)ing look like I'm doin' (beep)tch?

Random Fangirl: Fine! say good bye to your coats! (rips off the coats) (gasp) O! M! G! IT'S LINK! AND HE'S NAKED! ! !

Thousands of Fangirls: EEEEEEEEK!

Link: Aw, CRAP. (runs for dear life...naked)

_**Meanwhile, a certain Prince is writing the previous part for the fic...**_

The Prince: (writing the fic) (shudders) ugh...I can't do this part, this is DISGUSTING. SO I'm gonna ruin it for the people who want see Link get raped by Fangirls!

_**Back to Link...**_

Link: (still running)

Midna: (jumps out of nowhere) Leave Linky alone! (throws Navi into the crowd of fangirls like a grenade) Navi in the Hole!

Navi: HEY! HEY! LOOK OUT! LISTEN! LOOK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! LISTEN! LOOK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEY!

Fangirls: (heads explode)

Navi: (giggles all annoying like) HEY, that was really fun!...HEY, is anyone LISTENing?

Everyone: (wearing earplugs) What?

Navi: :(

Midna: (walkin' on a beach, in her true form, wearing a bikini)

Dudes, Fanboys, and Non-Fanboys alike: (staring and drooling)

Dude: (walks up to her) Can I have your autograph?

Midna: Sorry, I don't feel giving autographs.

Dude: Awwww... (walks away)

Non-Fanboy: (walks up to her) Can I have your autograph?

Midna: Sorry, I don't feel giving autographs.

Non-Fanboy: Awwww... (walks away)

Fanboy: (walks up to her) Will you marry me?

Midna: (slaps him) SCREW YOU!

_**Back to the writing studio...**_

The Prince: (writing the part above) hehehehehehehehe...

Midna3452: Why do you always make BIG LETTERS LIKE THIS when you make some one scream?

The Prince: BECAUSE IT LOOKS COOL! SEE! I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW! NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA NYA!

Midna3452: ...

The Prince: I LIKE COFFEE!

_**Back to...(Sigh) whatever the hell it was we were doin' before...**_

M-Lord: (comes out of nowhere and runs up to Midna) (hands her some money), you can go get an ice cream.

Midna: O...K? (Goes and buys Mint Ice Cream, and goes back to the beach and walks around while eating the ice cream)

Dudes, Fanboys, and Non-Fanboys alike: (staring and drooling)

Midna: Knock it off you Perverts!

M-Lord: (runs out of nowhere, punches Midna in the face, and steals her Mint Ice Cream) Yes! IT'S MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Everyone in existence: ... WEIRD.

Zelda: (eating a cookie, standing by an exact Sand-Replica of Hyrule Castle) Kick-ass Mother (beep)ers!

The Prince: What? Why are you happy? You know I can't stand the sight of other peoples' joy!

Zelda: Well too bad you (beep) hole! Just try and stop me! Mwahahahaha!

The Prince: Thats it! Ganondorf! Midna!

Ganondorf and Midna: (run form nowhere up to The Prince) What?

The Prince: Destroy The Sand Hyrule Castle! NOW!

Ganondorf and Midna: O_O' Ok...

Ganondorf: (turns into scary piggy)

Midna: (turns into Scary spider thingie)

They destroy the Castle, Zelda gets pissed, blah blah blah...Ilia's dare is hard so We're gonna skip that one.

Midna3452: NEXT REVIEW! AND I'M VERY HYPER RIGHT NOW!

The Prince: Oooh! I want to see this!

M-Lord: (sigh) It's from _**undeaddade**_ and it says-

_**3 Links: 1 evil, 1 romantic, 1 that mentally tortures people and rides on Midna. Ganondorf and Zelda being servants, Illia must watch a (fake) video of Wolf Link killing Epona for a week with coffee. ZF must marry a Oreo, and Zant must go towards the light aka giant bug zapper. During the ride Dark Link must talk to Midna about her mistakes. Humor me, then Illia must get shot by evil Link. I am just being evil to everyone except Link.**_

The Prince:Hey Link!

Link:yeah?

The Prince:I'll test on you a new spell I just learned, now hold still.

Link: Oh (beep)!

The Prince: (casts spell on Link)Hahaha! It worked!

Zelda: what did you do to him?

The Prince: I split him in several copies of himself.

(Three Links on the floor rubbing their heads with their own hands)

Evil Link:(stands up) YO YO doin fine mo(beep)uck (beep)s ?

Ilia:who the (beep) are you?

Evil Link:...(stares at Ilia, raising an eyebrow)

Ilia:Hey I asked you a question!

Evil Link: my name doesn't matter. Tell me b(beep), would you like to watch this video of wolf Link playing CUTE games with Epona?

Ilia: O.O give it to me!

Evil Link:oh, wait it's a long video, so take some coffee with you. You might want to stay awake in the night. (grins)

Ilia:(grabs and drinks a lot of coffee) thanks, how polite! (runs into a room)

Evil Link: (locks the door during a full week, then he begins to laugh devilish)

Midna3452:err... what was the video about?

Evil Link: (glances at her) if she's gonna suffer, you care?

Midna3452:not at all

Everyone but Ilia:(bursts in laughter)

Romantic Link:(looking for Midna) Oh, Midy!where're you! (finds her) oh there you're, let me admire your awesome body with my hands! (walks towards her and tries to touch her)

Midna: hey! knock it off you pervert hero! (slaps him in the face)

Romantic Link:(rubs his cheek) oh, Midy, your hands are so soft...(piano falls over him before he can keep talking more corny stuff)

M-Lord:ok, that's enough.

Zant:(randomly spawns from nowhere) what the (beep)?

Evil Link:Hey jerk!

Zant: nobody calls me jerk!

Evil Link:(pulls out a HUGE bug zapper)do you like this?

Zant:O.O so pretty (begins to walk towards the bug zapper)

Zelda:I wouldn...(M-Lord silences her by placing his hand on her mouth)

Zant:beautiful...(touches the bug zapper and gets electrified)

Zelda:that was so mean!

Midna3452:Shut up! We don't pay you for being concerned about him!.

Zelda: you don't pay me at all...

Midna3452: (pulls out a machine gun) what did you say?

Zelda:oh, um, nothing.

Midna3452: better.

Midna:you know guys, I don't like this a bi...(someone knocks her down and sits over her)

Dark Link (yet another version of Link in this fic, which is different to Evil Link): (turns Midna into a Wolf somehow) ride on my dark steed!

Midna:(struggling) GET OFF ME!

Dark Link:No way! You rode me when I was a wolf, now is my turn to ride YOU!

Midna:What? M-Lord, do I really have to do this?

M-Lord: the review commands you to do so.

Midna:otherwise?

M-Lord: (pulls out a Midna voodoo doll and stings her butt with a needle)

Midna: AUCH! M-Lord you a (beep)le!

M-Lord: get moving, I can do more than that.

Midna: (growling) Fine...

M-Lord: :P

Zelda:umm, guys? I haven't seen The Prince in a while...where is he?

M-Lord:Omg!His wedding is about to begin! (runs towards the church)

(pre-wedding music begins to play, The Prince of Torture standing on the altar)

M-Lord: (arrives at the church, dressed as a priest) ahem, sorry I was late (walks towards the altar, reaching it immediately)

The Prince:...

M-Lord:nervous?

The Prince:(nervous) shut up...

(wedding music begins to play and bride walks towards the altar, reaching it in a few moments)

M-Lord:(clears his throat)Well, let's get this done, shall we?

The Prince:go on.

M-Lord:brothers and sisters, cookies and drinks, we're gathered in this merry day, to witness the union of this couple in holy marriage.

(crowd smiles)

M-Lord:Prince of The Torture Realm, do you accept to take Ms. Oreo as your wife, honor her, love her but over all things,taste her slowly?

The Prince: I do.

M-Lord: and Ms. Oreo, do you accept to take The Prince of Torture as your husband, honor him, love him but over all things, be tasty enough for him?

: I do.

M-Lord:Very well then, by the power bestowed to me, I declare you, Prince and Cookie. You may kiss the bride.

The Prince:(kisses , then holds her on his arms and walks outside the church with the crowd cheering the couple)

:oh, wait dear! the bouquet! (turns back to the crowd, then throws the bouquet)

Crowd: (tries to grab the bouquet)

Ganondorf: (catches the bouquet) oh, Zelda!

Zelda:(runs to the bathroom to puke)

M-Lord:(staring at the just married couple as he drinks a weird looking non-alcoholic drink) Long live the Prince and the cookie! (faints)

Midna3452:(grabs the bottle M-Lord was drinking from) what's this? (reads the etiquette) "Uruguayan special hot milk" Hot milk? Oh come, on! No milk can cause you to faint (drinks some) ugh... (trudges)...whoa (faints).

_**A week passes...**_

Ilia:(gets out of the room, after watching over over a video of Wolf Link killing Epona) how could you give me such thing? (shudders)

Evil Link:don't worry, it was fake.

Ilia:Oh, it was? :)

Evil Link:(shoots at her) I don't like your frigging smile.

Everyone, even you: we neither.

(Somewhere on the realm of torture)

Dark Link:(riding on Midna, talking about her mistakes)...and that's why you're wrong.

Midna:Will you quit talking?You're driving me mad!You even mentally tortured those kids from Kakariko with your awful speech.

Dark Link:I'm not done yet..here is your biggest mistake:you brought no clothes to Hyrule, so you were naked almost the full game.

Midna: (slowing down)

Dark Link:Yes, everyone knows that.

Midna: (stops running)

Dark Link: Why you stop?

Midna: (gasps) Holy goddesses, it's true! (begins to ride so fast, that Dark Link almost falls) I'm gonna slap the real Link for looking at me when I was naked!.

_**Somewhere else on the Realm of Torture...**_

M-Lord and Midna3452: (wake up after passing out from drinking some messed up Uruguayan milk)

M-Lord: oh, you drank too?

Midna3452:what the (beep) was that?

M-Lord: A special drink a warlock gave me once,I didn't expect it to be that strong.

Midna3452:Whatever, I don't wanna drink anything like that again.

M-Lord: yep.

Midna3452:Hey, Zelda, Ganon!

Zelda and Ganon: Yeah?

Midna3452: Get us some brownies and wash our clothes!

Ganon:Why?

M-Lord: Because you're servants now.

Zelda: Wait we're n-

Midna3452: (pulls out a sniper rifle and aims it at Zelda's head) Oh, yes you are.

Zelda:O.O ok, ok, take it easy.

M-Lord:(pulls out a lightsaber) hurry up Ganondork!I'm starving!

Ganon: oh (beep)!

Midna3452:it's good to have servants, isn't it?

M-Lord:sure is

(Dark Link arrives riding Midna)

Midna:I'm so...exhausted (falls to the ground, panting)

Dark Link:You've done well my steed.

Midna: (turns back into an Imp) Oh shut the (beep) up already!

(Real Link randomly walks near Midna)

Midna:(not only slaps him, but also beats the crap out of him) LINK, YOU PERVERT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME! ?

M-Lord: Well, anyways this is coming to an...

The Prince: ...End.

Everyone:O.O you're back from your honeymoon already?

The Prince:nah, my honeymoon is gonna be later.

M-Lord:oh, ok.

Midna3452:Very well then, Prince, will you please?

The Prince: Sure thing. Until next time! (pulls out his sword and points at YOU) review or feel my wrath, NO PEACE.

Real Link:(on the floor, beaten up) ugh...

Midna:THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT TELLING ME!

Real Link: but, I think you're pretty... even more without clothes

Midna:(blushes) A-are you serious?

Real Link:yeah, you're really pretty.

Midna: awww...(feels a sting in the butt)

M-Lord:(holding a voodoo doll) ahem, this is not getting fluffy yet

Midna:but...

M-Lord:anyways! Until next time! (smashes giant pie against Real Link's face)

Real Link: DAMMIT! What the (beep) is with all you (beep) (beep)! You (beep)ing (beep) (beep) (beep)!

The Prince: REVIEW OR SUFFER! COME ON PEOPLE! THE DAMN BUTTON IS DOWN THERE! JUST CLICK THE DAMN THING!


	8. Summer Special! Part 3

The Prince: (watching Invader Zim) Die pitiful humans!

M-Lord and Midna3452: O_O'

The Prince: Er...uh...sorry?

Midna3452: I'm going to pretend you never said that.

M-Lord: I'm gonna start the show now... (pulls a lever which opens a door letting the Zelda Cast in)

Link and Midna: (holding hands)

Hosts: T_T

Midna: Can you just leave us alone?

The Prince: No, no we can't.

Link: Dammit.

Ilia: Link, you're supposed to be MY boyfriend!

Zelda: Actually, I checked with Nintendo and they said I'M supposed to be his main love interest.

Hosts: YOU CONTACTED NINTENDO! ? !

Zelda: Yeah, why are you freaking out?

Nintendo Security: (breaks through the door)

Midna3452: I'll take care of them! (takes out dual ninja sword)

M-Lord: Quick! some one do the disclaimer!

Zelda Cast: _**The Prince of Torture doesn't own us!**_

Nintendo Security: (poofs away)

The Prince: That was easy.

Midna3452: _A disclaimer a day keeps Nintendo away._

Navi: (flys out of nowhere) HEY everybody! HOW are WE doing today?

Danzik: Shut up, little sprite...

Navi: EXCUSE ME? I AM NOT A SPRITE! I'M A FAIRY THAT-

Danzik: That won't shut the hell up!

Navi: Why you little-

Hosts: REVIEW TIME! YAY!

Zelda Cast: BOO!

Danzik: (sigh) It's from some moron named _**RheaTheWingedWolf**_.

The Prince: (slaps Danzik) You'll speak about our viewers with honor and respect!

_**Thanks for making mine so funny last time! =)**_

_**Link: Chase Navi with a butterfly net.**_

_**Zelda: Eat 36 cherry pies in one sitting.**_

_**Midna: Tie Zant to a ceiling fan and turn it on.**_

_**Navi: Shut up for a week.**_

_**Ilia: Get bitten by a rabid horse.**_

_**Danzik: Run in circles singing the theme-song to Dora the explorer.**_

_**Zant: Try not to barf while you're on the ceiling fan.**_

_**Ganondorf: Give little kids free ice cream, and smile while you're doing it.**_

_**M-Lord: Lock yourself in a small, windowless, dark room with over a hundred rabid squirrels for a day.**_

_**The Prince: Eat your Oreo wife.**_

The Prince: Here (hands Link a butterfly net) I wanted to give you a hammer, so you could smash Navi, but the review says I'm supposed to give you a butterfly net instead.

Link:T.T but... I wanted to smash her (sighs)

The Prince: I don't care, go accomplish your duty.

Link:You mean saving Hyrule?

The Prince:(whacks Link) No you moron! go chase Navi with that thing I gave you.

Link: what about her shrieks?

The Prince:hmm...M-Lord?

M-Lord: (working on his next LoZ fic) yeah?

The Prince: Can you take care of Navi, WITHOUT killing her?

M-Lord: sure thing.

Navi:HEY!WA...(giant cake smashes her)

Everyone:(laughing)

Navi:(wipes the rest of the cake off her face) HE-...*M-Lord places duct tape on her mouth*

M-Lord:sweet...no more shrieks.

Navi:(struggling)!

Link: (begins to chase Navi) At least I can have some fun now!

Everyone, but Link and Navi: and our ears some rest, since she'll shut the (beep) up for a full day.

You:sweeeeet.

Midna3452: ok Zelda, eat these up (hands her 36 cherry pies)

Zelda:those are too much...

Midna3452:what, you wanna share?

Zelda:Well...

Midna3452:oh, Ganon!

Ganondorf: I'm finally getting a dinner with Zelda?

Zelda:Ewwww!(tries not to vomit) ok, ok, I get it. I'll eat these alone.

Ganondorf: :(

Everyone else: :P

M-Lord:guys?Where's Ilia?

The Prince: Do you really care?

M-Lord:nah.

_**Somewhere...**_

Ilia:oh, poor horsie, let me take care of your illness

Rabid horse:(bites her)

Ilia: ouch! that was not nice!

Rabid horse:(rolls his eyes)

Ilia:I just wanted to be nice to you...

Rabid horse:(narrows his eyes and knocks her down)

Ilia:what the...? (gets cut off)

Rabid horse: (stomps her over and over) (in Horse Speak) Just.(beep)!

_**Back at the spot of the rest of the cast...**_

Zelda:(almost eating the last pie) I'm close (burp) just one more...

M-Lord:hmm...

Zelda:(eats up the last pie) Yes! I did it!

The Prince: blot out that smile...NOW!

Zelda:Otherwise?

The Prince:(hands her 36 more cherry pies) eat those now!

Zelda:ughh (faints)

The Prince: :) that's better.

Midna:(summons Zant...somehow) well, hello there moron.

Zant:Shut up you lowly princess!

Midna:(angry) You'll regret that (beep)hole! (ties him to a ceiling fan, then turns it on)

Zant:(almost barfing)ughh... (face turns green)

Danzik:(reads review) I refuse to accomplish such stupidity!

The Prince: You'll obey!

Danzik:WHY?

The Prince: because I say so! (pulls out a key board)now obey, before I use my author powers to put you in a Barney costume.

Danzik:okay! Geez! (begins to run in circles singing the theme-song to Dora the explorer)

Zant:(NEARLY barfing)I don't feel good...

Midna: :)

Bunch of little kids show up from nowhere and begin to demand ice cream...

M-Lord:ok Ganon, go there and give those little kids some ice cream and remember to smile.

Ganondorf: ...

M-Lord:what're you waiting?Get moving!

Ganondorf:(starts giving the little kids some ice cream as he does his best to keep a (fake) smile)

Random kid: ewww that man is kinda ugly!

Ganondorf:(holding back the urge to punch the little kid)

Yet, another random kid: (tasting his ice cream[which is not mint flavor]) thanks !

Ganondorf: :3 awww...

Everyone else, even you: what the (beep)?

Ganondorf:oh, I mean, meh...Stupid child...

The Prince: Better...

Midna: Who's hungry!

Everyone else: MEEEEE!

Zant:well actually I (barfs) nevermind.

Midna: I baked some cookies!

Everyone else:(face turns green)

Midna:(almost sobbing) B-but I'm not that bad at baking cookies! (grabs and tastes one of her own cookies, then her face turns green as well) I need a bathroom! (goes to bathroom in order to puke)

M-Lord:uhmmm...Prince?

The Prince:yes?

M-Lord: The review says you must eat your wife.

The Prince:oh, right, that's why I married her. Oh, darling!

(Mrs. Oreo comes)

: What?

The Prince:(Eats her)

Everyone else:O.O wow... you actually ate her.

The Prince:she was tasty :P

Everyone else: Sure...

M-Lord:(reads review) rabid squirrels?Humh... I suppose I can do it...how bad it can be?

Zelda:(shoves him into a a small, windowless, dark room with over a hundred rabid squirrels, then locks the door*)

M-Lord:(in the room, turning on a lantern) hmpf! Not so bad.

Rabid squirrels:(staring at him)

M-Lord:Ok little squirrels, look, I'm NOT food or anything you can bite, okay?

Rabid squirrels:(crawling up to him)

M-Lord:well...I guess this means you want to bite me over and over, right?

Rabid squirrels:(Slowly nod at the same time)

M-Lord:Meh, as long as I have this (gestures at the lantern) I have nothing to fear! (brandishes the lantern)

Rabid squirrels:(back off)

M-Lord:ha! (lantern runs out of oil) (muttering) ...¡Maldito sea el maldito mundo entero para esta mierda de la mierda. _**(A/N: HA! ITS FUN TO USE GOOGLE TRANSLATE!)**_

Rabid squirrels:(jump over him and start biting him over and over for 24 hours)

Midna3452:I wonder how M-Lord is doing.

The Prince: He's not having a good time whatsoever.

M-Lord: (get out of the room, panting heavily and with several bite scars)

Link:and I get even worse things than that.

M-Lord:(raises an eyebrow)

Link:yeh, that's what you get for daring me to do such things like getting chased by an army of fangirls

M-Lord:damn RheaTheWingedWolf's dare...

Link:(smiling) hehehehe

M-Lord:THAT'S IT YOU F(BEEP)ING BLONDE!

Link:?

M-Lord:(whistles)

A horde of capybaras show up...

Everyone else:O.O he can do that?

M-Lord:(in capybara language) show that moron no mercy!

Horde of capybaras:(nod and start beating the crap out of Link...M rated violence)

The Prince: Yes...more gore!

Midna: O.O

Zelda: (shields her eyes) I can't watch!

Midna: M-Lord, tell them to stop!

M-Lord:(smashes giant watermelon on Midna's head, causing her to faint) I try not to punch girls, but I don't have any problem with using watermelons.

The Prince: Move Aside! (pushes all the capybaras out of the way) THE GREEN ONE WILL FALL BY _MY_ BLADE! (takes out his sword)

Link: Aw Crap! (takes out Master Sword)

_**One extemely awesome, blood-filled fight later...**_

Link: (covered in cuts, gashes, and bruises)

The Prince: (almost completely unscathed)

Link: Damn! You're pretty tough!

The Prince: I know that! I don't need your 2 cents to know that!

M-Lord: Shut up so we can continue this story!

Midna3452: This be from _**TenshiPrime **_and it says:

_**Hi Everyone! I am a big fan of this book and I have some dares, but in order to do some I need to be on a chapter just once! You can kick me off for all I care after it! Okay here we go!**_

_**Illa, you have been in a ton of trouble cause everyone hates you, so cause I like you a lot I am gonna cut you some slack and when i get on the show I am gonna give you a box of oreos!**_

_**Link, you must make out with Espona in front of Illa, Zelda, Saria, and Midna FOR 4 HOURS.**_

_**Midna, you have to make out with Saria after Link makes out with Espona.**_

_**Prince of Torture, you have to eat your wife.**_

_**Zelda, make a nice big cake and hide Midna in it and give it to Saria!**_

_**Saria, play your ocarina to link TILL HIS EARS BLEED.**_

_**Navi, JUST SHUT THE **** UP YOU ***** YOU ARE SO ANNOYING YOU MAKE TINGLE LOOK COOL! And speaking of Tingle, Oh yes I am SO EVIL.**_

_**Tingle. BUG THE LIVING SH*T OUT OFF NAVI UNTIL SHE DIES. KILL THAT FAIRY OF A B*TCH SO YOU CAN BECOME A FAIRY!**_

_**There I think I've covered everyone!**_

_**Waiting for the next Chapter! Tenshi Prime.**_

Ilia:I'm getting a box of Oreos!Yay!

TenshPrime: here you go (hands her a HUGE box of Oreos)

Everyone else, but Tenshi and Ilia: O.O

Ilia:(starts eating the oreos) yummy.

M-Lord: Prince?

The Prince:(staring anrily at Ilia) yes?

M-Lord: the review...doesn't say anything about what can happen to her oreos, AFTER she gets them, right?

The Prince: it...doesn't (grins evilly)

M-Lord: Shall I?

The Prince: proceed.

M-Lord: (snatches box of oreos from Ilia) hehehehe

Ilia: woot! Give them back!

M-Lord: pff, no way.

Ilia: Tenshi, can you help me?

Tenshi: dude! give them back!

M-Lord: otherwise?

Tenshi: (pulls out giant baseball bat) don't make me hurt you...

M-Lord: ah, right, like if you could...(gets hit by the bat, sending him to...somewhere, not before dropping the box of oreos)

Everyone else: O.O

Tenshi:(grabs oreos) here you go (hands Ilia the box)

Ilia: thanks!

Midna3452: I guess we should leave Ilia alone, just for this chapter.

The Prince: Never! My power is undeniable and I refuse to be beaten by this pitiful band of resistance!

Tenshi: (shoots a Death Glare at The Prince)

The Prince: (shoots a Death Glare back at Tenshi)

_**2 hours of Death Glaring later...**_

The Prince: (eyes blood-shot from Death-Glaring so long) ok, ok, just for this chapter. I feel a little bit merciful today.

Zelda cast: really?

The Prince:well, it won't last long.

Zelda cast: crap...

_**Somewhere...**_

M-Lord: oh sh(beeeeep)! (lands) auch (rubbing his head) so that's how it's like to get hit by a bat.(looks around) Where am I?

?:oh, uhm, are you ok?

M-Lord: Tingle?

Tingle: that's me.

M-Lord: (reads review) how convenient...

Tingle: what?

M-Lord:(knocks him out)

You: was that necessary?

M-Lord: Not really (puts Tingle in a bag and starts walking with it on the back, heading towards the Awful Realm of Torture)

_**Back at the Awful realm of torture...**_

Midna3452: Link, here is Epona (Epona shows up from nowhere), make out with her.

Link: are you mad?

Midna3452: yes, now obey.

Link: I don't wanna.

The Prince: what did you say? (evil Lightning and fire show behind him all dramatic like)

Link:woah, ok, ok easy bud. I'll obey *makes out with Epona during 4 hours*

Illa, Zelda, Saria, and Midna:(staring bewildered, a mix of disgust and worry in their faces)

_**4 hours pass...**_

Link:(breaks off the kiss) ugh... (vomits)

Midna: That was scarier than EVERY scay movie in the world combined

Midna3452: (reads review) Uh...Midna? Saria?

Midna: Yeah?

Saria: Whats wrong, nice host lady?

Midna3452: (shows them review)

Midna and Saria: :O

Midna: You CANNOT be serious...

Saria: I'm practically not even old enough to be a teenager.

The Prince: Even The Almighty Prince has trouble picturing that...

Midna3452: Why did you speak in third person just now?

The Prince: Because it helps show my authority...

Midna: I. WILL NOT. Kiss. Saria.

The Prince: SILENCE! (snaps his fingers, and Midna and Saria are forced into a kiss)

Link: O_O Why is that not as bad as I thought it would be?

Midna3452: Because you're a perv.

Link: Is it MY fault that I'm attracted to the Female species?

The Prince: Yes, yes it is. (snaps finger and Midna and Saria stop kissing)

Midna and Saria: (run to therapy)

_**Several Days later...**_

The Prince:(reads review) well, I ate her already, so let's get to the next part.

Midna3452: Zelda, you know what to do.

Zelda:Okay (bakes a cake) Now, Midna, could you please hide in there? (gestures at the cake)

Midna: no way! I'm not hiding in there!

Zelda: (sighs and rolls her eyes) Prince?

The Prince: Yes?

Zelda: Midna won't hide in the cake.

The Prince: Oh, yes she will.

Midna: No I won't...(Prince forcefully hides her in the cake) (struggling to get out) let me out!

The Prince: Go on Zelda.

Zelda: Here you go Saria (hands her the cake)

Saria: thanks!

Midna: (sticks out her head from the cake) I don't feel comfortable in here!

Midna3452: Sorry...lol.

Saria: you can get out Mid.

Midna: 'bout time!

Random Midna fanboy: (shows up from nowhere) NO, WAIT! I WANNA TASTE HER!

Midna:O.O (gets the hell out of the cake, still with some remains of the cake over her body)

Random Midna fanboy: plea-

Midna:(whacks him) pervert...(whacks him again, this time sending him flying to the place where he came from)

Link: (to Midna) Can I...you know...do what that fanboy was talking about?

Midna: (blushes) Oh...uhm...

Midna3452: well, next part. Saria, will you please?

Saria: sure (begins to play her Ocarina)

Link: (ears bleeding) stop...please! (covers his ears) arghhh!.

M-Lord:(arrives with a bag) yo.

The Prince: where have you been?

M-Lord: here and there. But never mind (pulls Tingle out of the bag) read this (hands Tingle the review)

Tingle:(reads the review) oh cool!

Navi: HEY! LISTEN! WATCH...(gets interrupted)

Tingle:(punches her and begins to bug the hell out of Navi) Die fu(beep)ing b(beep)!

Hosts: (clapping) Bravo, bravo.

Navi: (on the floor, dead)

Tingle:(smiling) I did it! Now I'll become a fairy!

The Prince: Nope.

Tingle: What?

The Prince: DIE! (chops off Tingle's head)

Tenshi: :O

The Prince: What? I'm evil, remember?

Tenshi: oh, right.

Link: (on the floor, ears bleeding a river of blood) Stop. Please.

Saria: Okay. (stops playing her ocarina)

Hosts: Anyway... 'til next time!

Everyone: BYE!

_**A/N: You like? hate? anyway, REVIEW OR COFFEE DEMONS WILL JUMP OUT OF YOUR COMPUTER AND EAT YOU (AND YOUR COFFEE) ALIVE!**_


	9. Summer Special! Part 4

(_**A/N: WOOT! SUPER-FAST-UPDATE FTW!)**_

The Prince: WASSUP!

M-Lord: Hey people! Look at this! (jumps super-flipping high) Kick-Ass!

Midna3452: Hey! Can we just get this done?

The Prince and M-Lord: HELL YEAH!

Midna3452: Ugh...men are stupid...

The Prince: I HEARD THAT! NOW DIE! (unleashes Hell)

Hell:(unleashed)

_**One painful Adventure later...**_

Everyone: (burnt from the flames of Hell)

The Prince: That...was a BAD idea.

Everyone: (nod in agreement)

The Prince: REVIEW TIME! YAY!

M-Lord: We got one From some one who's _**Accountless**_

_**TRUTHS!**_

_**Link: YOU'RE THE AWESOMEST ZELDA CHARACTER EVER! You won't have AS bad as the others will get (other than Midna. She's # 2.) But tell me, do you enjoy getting your butt whooped by any of the bosses in any of the Zelda games?**_

_**Zelda: Can you be actually USEFUL in a Zelda game? For crying out loud, the game's NAMED after you!**_

_**Midna: What are your TRUE feelings for Link?**_

_**Canondork (AKA the idiot who tried to kill Link a bunch of times and ALWAYS FAILS!): Why do you suck at killing Link so badly (Link can put his OWN comments into this Truth)?**_

_**Ilia: Why are you so OBSESSED with STUPID horses? They're STUPID (other than Epona because she's Link's horse).**_

_**The Prince: Why are you Cuccoo (as in CRAZY!)?**_

_**Midna3452: Why do you keep messing with Midna's feelings?**_

_**M-Lord: WHY MUST YOU HURT LINK!**_

_**DARES!**_

_**Link: (Sorry Link!) Let Ruto chase you (Read the Prince's Dare) for 3 days. BUT: You get a flamethrower and Mr. Boom-Boom.**_

_**Zelda: Go in a room with ALL the Zelda bosses for a month, insulting them and letting them do what they wish to you!**_

_**Midna: Watch Ruto chase Link for all three days and do NOTHING to help Link. Also, after that, you have to go on a date with Zant from the end of this chapter to the beginning of the next.**_

_**Zant: Ask Midna on a date throughout the ENTIRE chapter and at the end (Read Midna's Dare) Happy Dance into a wall.**_

_**Canondork(AKA the idiot who tried to kill Link a bunch of times and ALWAYS FAILS!): Get chased by Cuccoos for the whole chapter and be chased off a cliff at the end. Also, let everyone call you Canondork for the WHOLE chapter and do NOTHING about it.**_

_**Ilia: Kill the horse you love the MOST (OTHER than Epona)!**_

_**The Prince: (SORRY LINK!) Bring, *GASPS*, Ruto into your FanFic.**_

_**M-Lord: Make an evil hoard of STARVING Link Fan-Girls chase you, thinking you're Link, while covered in EVERY FOOD you've EVER dumped on Link, for a week as he is disguised (But Ruto will know who Link is). Have a taste of your own medicine!**_

Link: Thanks! (Glomps the Accountless person)

Zelda: I COULD be useful...I just choose to let Link to do everything.

Saria: That's kinda harsh...

Midna3452: Amen to that.

Midna: (reads review) Seriously? I already said I loved him. Hell, we were holding hands last chapter!

Ganondorf: (reads review) Cuz, no matter WTF I do, HE JUST. WON'T. DIE!

Link: Thats because I'm invincible (beep)tches.

Midna and Saria: Thank the Gods for that. (glomps Link)

The Prince: Stop...NOW!

Link, Midna, and Saria: (quickly stop glomping)

M-Lord: Better.

Ilia: (reads review) Because I do! And they're not stupid!

The Prince: Even I tolerate the Species known as "Horse". (reads review) BECUASE I AM! YOU GOT A (beep)ING PROBLEM WITH THAT! ? ! (fires explodes all scary like)

Saria: Prince, calm down.

The Prince: (sigh) 1...2...3...My anger is a puddle and I just, step out of it...I'm better now.

M-Lord: Then let's continue. (reads review) Because its loads of fun!

The Prince: (reads the dares of the review) (grins evilly) This is gonna be goooooooood! (pulls a lever and Ruto falls from the sky)

Ruto: OW! That REALLY hurt!

The Prince: Whoop-de-doo.

Saria: Ruto! (glomps Ruto)

Ruto: Saria! (glomps her back)

Saria: I haven't seen you in forever!

The Prince: (whispering to M-Lord) Since when did those two know eachother?

M-Lord: Well, They ARE both Sages...

The Prince: Hmm...makes sense I guess.

Ruto: (Sees Link) LIIIIIIIIIIIINK! (runs for him)

Link: Aw, sh(beep). (runs for dear life)

Midna: (Tied up in a chair, being forced to watch Ruto chase Link) NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo.

Ruto: (tackles Link and starts kissing him)

Link: Help...me... (gets dragged into a bedroom by Ruto after being tied up by her)

Everyone: (shudders)

Zant: Hey Midna! You. Me. Dinner. how 'bout it?

Midna: (ignores him completely)

Zant: (continues asking her out)

Everyone except for Ganondorf: Your name is GanonDORK! Ganondork! Ganondork! Ganondork! Ganondork! Ganondor-

Ganondorf: (commits suicide)

Midna3452: ...You think we may have over done it?

Everyone else: (nod in agreement)

Ruto: (comes out of the bedroom) YYYAAAAYYY!

Everyone else: O_O

Link: (comes out of the bedroom) You do NOT want to know what she forced me to do.

The Prince: Well too bad, cuz' I put a camera in there!

Link: O_O Don't show that to anyone!

Ruto: But Link, I thought you weren't gonna keep it a secret!

Link: You dragged me in there and forced me to!

The Prince: TOO LATE! (starts playing the recording)

_Link: (untied) W-what are you gonna d-do?_

_Ruto: Oh...I thought we could...you know...have a little fun?_

_Link: And what do you mean by that?_

_Ruto: Let me show you..._

_They play chess, Ruto wins._ (_**A/N: Get you minds out of the gutter, people.**_)

The Prince: (stops the recording) ...That's it?

Link: I hate chess!

Ruto: Oh Linky, you're just mad because you lost.

Link: Leave me alone you psycho fish person!

Ruto: I'm not a fish! I'm a ZORA Dammit! AND I'm a Princess too!

Saria: Is it just me or is there an ASS-LOAD of Royals here?

M-Lord: You're right, Saria.

Ilia: (read her dare) Epona is the only horse I love. So I can't do that.

Zelda: (stumbles out of a random room) I was locked in there with all the Bosses from my games...they've done bad things to me...(passes out)

Hosts: (laughing)

The Prince: And to save time from another dare I'm gonna bring two people in right now. (Pulls a lever and Toon Link and Toon Zelda fall from nowhere)

Toon Link: Ow! That weally huwt!

Toon Zelda: Who made us get huwt?

Toon Link: (sees Link) ...

Toon Zelda: (sees Zelda) ...

(camera turns off)

We are sorry, but the universe has exploded due to Link and Zelda seeing their Toon Variations. We apologize for this inconveniance and will return shortly...

(stupid elevator music plays)

You: WTF is with this damn music! ? !

(camera turns back)

The Prince: Ok, are we all good?

Everyone else: (nod)

The Prince: Good. cuz' it isn't easy to bring the WHOLE universe back.

Toon Link and Toon Zelda: We're sowwy.

Midna3452: Aw... It wasn't you're fault. (Glomps Toon Zelda) It was just a little misunderstanding with the universe, that's all.

The Prince: (trying not to vomit) Some one stop that scene of affection!

M-Lord: Midna3452, Stop before The Prince pukes.

Midna3452: Alright geez. Let's just continue. (hand the next review to Toon Link) Go ahead and read the nice piece of paper.

Toon Link: Uh.. It's fwom some one named _**Bree-Bee233**_

_**XD GAWD! This is hilarious!**_

_**Because I'm evil and insane...*cackles evilly***_

_**LINK!- make out with midna for an hour.**_

_**MIDNA!- Set fire to a horse, then set fire to Link's hat**_

_**ZELDA!- Cram as many marshmallows into your mouth as you can**_

_**ILIA!- watch Midna burn your precious horsie, then set yourself on fire**_

_**LINK!- Set a bin on fire just to watch the pretty colours**_

_**Hey, I'm insane. What can I say?**_

The Prince: FINALLY! Some one else who's Insane!

M-Lord: O_O' Is this person A Pyro or someting?

Midna3452: Maybe, why should we care?

Link: No problem. (grabs Midna by the shoulders and starts making out with her)

_**1 Hour later...**_

Link and Midna: (FINALLY stop kissing)

Midna: Sorry about this Link. (catches his hat on fire)

Link: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! (runs around trying to put his hat out)

Ruto and Saria: Link! I'll save you! (chases after Link)

Midna: (sets fire to Epona)

Ilia: ! ! ! (commits suicide by catching herself on fire)

The Prince: Don't worry, I'll bring her back to life when we need her again.

M-Lord: Awww... I thought we were rid of that dumb horse-chick!

The Prince: Sadly, People still want her here.

Link: (puts his hat out, then catches fire to a dumpster) I see prrreeeeety colllllllllooorsss.

Toon Zelda: Next Weview!

Midna3452: I love the way they talk!

_**Shadicx**_

_**Rofl u married a cookie :). Not that I'm complaining. Oreos are quite tasty, aren't they?**_

_**Anyway, I already reviewed once. BUT I SHALL AGAIN :D**_

_**Link: Turn into Wolf Link and enter a dog show.**_

_**Zelda: Go to a karaoke club with Ganondorf and team up to sing don't stop believin**_

_**Ilia: (If she's stil alive)Be trapped in a room for a week with a bunch of angry Malon fans (including me. yes, I did have money on Malon.)**_

_**Midna: Rap either Fort Minor or Eminem with Zant O-o**_

_**Oh, and PS...Hosts, have a dance contest.**_

The Prince: Yes, Oreos are indeed tasty.

Midna3452: And we're you reivew more than once, It show that love this show! (gives Shadicx a cookie)

M-Lord: Link, turn into a Wolf.

Ruto: He can do that?

The Prince: Yes, yes he can.

Toon Link: That's pwetty coooool.

Link: (turns into Wolf Link)

Ruto: Come on doggy! (enters Wolf Link into a dog show, They were disqualified cuz' Wolf Link killed one of the judges when they called him "ugly")

Ruto and Link: (Come back)

Ruto: Linky did bad things to a judge!

Saria: Bad Link! (sprays him with a squirt gun)

Wolf Link: (whimpering) Leave me alone!

Midna: Leave him alone! (takes Saria's squirt gun and hits her with it)

Midna and Saria: (in a catfight)

The Prince: ...Let's continue shall we?

Zelda and Ganondorf: (sing " Don't stop believin' " on a karaoke machine...they were awesome)

Everyone else: (clapping and cheering)

M-Lord: Ilia's dead so let's skip that one.

Midna: Give me a microphone!

Zant: WOOT!

Eminem: (show up from nowhere) Let's do this!

The Hosts: (Start the Dance contest to the song with Saria, Ruto and The Toons of Link and Zelda as the Judges)

_**(Hook) Eminem, Midna, and Zant**_

_**I'm not afraid to take a stand**_

_**Everybody come take my hand**_

_**We'll walk this road together, through the storm**_

_**Whatever weather, cold or warm**_

_**Just let you know that, you're not alone**_

_**Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road**_

_**(Intro) Eminem**_

_**Yeah, It's been a ride...**_

_**I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one**_

_**Now some of you might still be in that place**_

_**If you're trying to get out, just follow me**_

_**I'll get you there**_

_**(Verse 1) Zant**_

_**You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em**_

_**But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em**_

_**Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem**_

_**When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn**_

_**What you think, I'm doing this for me, so (beep) the world**_

_**Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me**_

_**I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly**_

_**And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony**_

_**No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he**_

_**From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still (beep)'n**_

_**Whether he's on salary, paid hourly**_

_**Until he bows out or he (beep)'s his bowels out of him**_

_**Whichever comes first, for better or worse**_

_**He's married to the game, like a (beep) you for christmas**_

_**His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge**_

_**To pull his (beep) from the dirt and (beep) the universe**_

_**(Hook) Eminem, Midna, and Zant**_

_**I'm not afraid to take a stand**_

_**Everybody come take my hand**_

_**We'll walk this road together, through the storm**_

_**Whatever weather, cold or warm**_

_**Just let you know that, you're not alone**_

_**Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road**_

_**(Verse 2) Midna**_

_**Ok quit playin' with the scissors and (beep), and cut the crap**_

_**I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap**_

_**You said you was king, you lied through your teeth**_

_**For that (beep) your fillings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped**_

_**And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back**_

_**I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact**_

_**Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh"**_

_**Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground**_

_**Relax, I ain't going back to that now**_

_**All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW**_

_**Cause I ain't playin' around**_

_**There's a game called circle and I don't know how**_

_**I'm way too up to back down**_

_**But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out**_

_**Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't**_

_**This (beep)ing black cloud still follow's me around**_

_**But it's time to exercise these demons**_

_**These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!**_

_**(Hook) Eminem, Midna, And Zant**_

_**I'm not afraid to take a stand**_

_**Everybody come take my hand**_

_**We'll walk this road together, through the storm**_

_**Whatever weather, cold or warm**_

_**Just let you know that, you're not alone**_

_**Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road**_

_**(Bridge) Eminem**_

_**And I just can't keep living this way**_

_**So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage**_

_**I'm standing up, Imma face my demons**_

_**I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground**_

_**I've had enough, now I'm so fed up**_

_**Time to put my life back together right now**_

_**(Verse 3) Eminem**_

_**It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me**_

_**Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you**_

_**So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through**_

_**And don't even realise what you did, believe me you**_

_**I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger**_

_**I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of**_

_**My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead**_

_**No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise**_

_**To focus soley on handling my responsibility's as a father**_

_**So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it**_

_**You couldn't lift a single shingle on it**_

_**Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club**_

_**Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up**_

_**Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon**_

_**But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and**_

_**(Hook) Eminem**_

_**I'm not afraid to take a stand**_

_**Everybody come take my hand**_

_**We'll walk this road together, through the storm**_

_**Whatever weather, cold or warm**_

_**Just let you know that, you're not alone**_

_**Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road**_

Eminem: Man you guys are the shitz, you know what I'm sayin' ? (_**A/N: Only Eminem gets to say that in my realm! Mwahahahahahahahaha**_)

Midna: Alright! Alright! I'll go on a date with just shut up Zant!

Zant! Yeeeeyaaayaaah!

Ruto and Saria: And the winner of the dance contest is...MIDNA3452!

(Midna3452 get the world's largest Mint Oreo)

M-Lord and The Prince: (fall to their knees dramtically) ! ! !

Toon Link and Toon Zelda: Why are the nice people screaming?

Midna3452: (kneel down so she can talk to them face-to-face) Because they know they suck.

The Prince: I HEARD THAT! NOW DIE! (unleashes Hell)

Hell: (unleashed)

The Devil: (show up from the unleashed Hell) 'til next time!

EveryoneL BYE! (go back to killing eachother)


	10. Summer Special! Part 5

M-Lord: (Walks into the studio)

Midna3452: M-Lord! (runs up to him excitedly) Guess what?

M-Lord: Umm…What?

Link: The Prince said that this is the Last Summer Special!

M-Lord: SHAWEET.

Midna3452: I can't wait to see what it is!

The Prince: (walks into the room, looking terrified)

Everyone Else: Oh god, IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE! (Go crazy and start killing each other)

The Prince: STOP!

Everyone Else: (stop what they're doing)

The Prince: What is wrong with you people?

Link: Well…you look scared…you're never scared.

The Prince: Oh shut up, even I know fear…like Justin Bieber… (Shudders)

Other Hosts: …Ooooookaaaaaayyy?

The Prince: (clears throat and pulls down a microphone) Ladies and Gentlemen! Now Introducing the ONLY Mortal who has been able to terrify me! In addition, is the one that inspired me to make this fic! …Blinded Priestess!

Zelda Cast: (eyes get as big as plates) NO! NOT HER! ANYTHING BUT HER! (All break down sobbing)

BP (a.k.a Blinded Priestess): (flys down to the ground on a Black Dragon) Hi! (Turns to the Dragon) Thanks, Rianix!

Rianix: (Roars then flys away)

BP: I LOVE that Dragon.

The Prince: Yeah, whatever… anyway-

Link: (runs up to Twilight holding a cross) Be gone, Sadistic spawn of Satan! ! !

BP: (shoots his head off with a laser chainsaw) Take that! (laughs like amaniac)

M-Lord: (glaring at Twilight)

Midna3452: M-Lord? What's wrong?

M-Lord: She blew my head off with a gun when I made a dare to "Ask the Zelda Crew" !

BP: Hell yeah I did!

M-Lord: (continues glaring)

The Prince: (clears throat) Yes, well…can we just get on with this?

M-Lord: (sighs) Sure whatever…

Midna3452: Alright! Our first review is from-

BP: (punches Midna3452 in da face!) I wanna say it! This review is from _**JustCallMeLilly**_

_**Questions:**_

_**Link: What does it feel like to be healed by a fairy, and what do all the potions taste like?**_

_**Zelda: What matters most to you?**_

_**Ruto: Why do you like Link?**_

_**Dares:**_

_**Ruto: Lock yourself on Death Mountain Crater for two days with only a cup of water.**_

_**Link: I like you, your the best character ever, so you get three wishes.(none of the wishes can be wishing for more wishes)**_

_**Midna: Whack yourself in the head with a large hammer for four hours.**_

_**Bye!**_

Link: It feels like being run over by a Unicorn! Potions taste like Unicorn piss!

M-Lord: Are you obsessed with unicorns or somethin'?

Link: UNICORNS! ! !

BP: UNICORNS! ! !

Twilight and Link started screaming about how awesome unicorns are.

Everyone except BP and Link: O_O'

BP and Link: UNICORNS! ! !

Toon Link: But…I don't like Unicowns…

The Prince: …Okay…Zelda, What matters to you most.

Zelda: Staying alive in this HELL HOUSE!

Toon Zelda: STAYING PWETTY!

The Prince: (shoots Zelda in the head) You just lost what matters to you most. (revives Zelda)

Ruto: Whats not to like about Link? He is strong, brave, courage, smart…

Link: (Trying to shove the Master Sword in a toaster)

Ruto: Okay, maybe not smart…But he IS everything else I said! I'm gonna go to Death Mountain to think about LIIIIIIIINK! (grabs a glass of water locks herself in Death Mountain Crater)

Midna: It is Hammer time! (starts hitting herself on the head)

_**4 Hours later…**_

Midna: (dead)

The Prince: (revives Midna) Alright! Next dare is from _**Midna3452**_

_**Ah, this story never fails to make me laugh! AW, TOON LINK AND ZELDA ARE THERE! *glomps them again, especially Toon Link* YAY! SO . . . FRICKIN' . . . CUUUUUTE! :D Oh, and I'm glad I was able to pwn you guys (M-Lord and The Prince) in a dance contest! MUHAHAHA! Anyway, I do have a few dares this time:**_

**_Link: Give Toon Link a piggy-back ride (because it would be adorable!). Oh, and you have to listen to and follow all of his demands for a whole day, no matter how ridiculous they may be. Sorry, dog boy! ;P_**

**_Midna: Um . . . you're cool just as you are. Oh, just make sure you give Zelda, Ilia, Malon, Saria, and all the other girls who think they deserve Link more than you a kick in the behind for me, 'kay?_**

**_Zelda: Get a huge wad of gum stuck in your hair, so much so that you have to cut it off. Let's see how you deal without your long hair! MUHAHAHA!_**

**_Zant: Hey, I haven't dared you to do anything yet! So, this is my request (or really, my order): Do the Chicken Dance. Now._**

**_Well, that's all I have for the moment. But mark my words . . . I WILL BE BACK!_**

Toons: Thank you, Miss! (run up and Glomp Midna3452)

Midna3452: You're welcome! (Glomps them back

The Prince: I'm still pissed off about losing the dance contest…

Link: Come on Little bro! (turns into A wolf)

Toon Link: (jumps onto Wolf Link's back) ONWAWD!

Wolf Link: (runs around with Toon Link on his back) Yyyyyeeeeaaaaahhh!

Midna I'll be sure to do that! (starts kicking the other girls)

Danzik: Did everyone forget I was here?

Navi: And me?

The Prince: Pretty much. Sorry, Danzik. Not sorry, Nazi.

Navi: MY NAME IS NA_**V**_I!

The Prince: Not in my book!

Danzik: I'm guessing no one here has read the story, right.

The Prince: I actually WROTE, the Story.

M-Lord: I've read it.

Midna3452: Me too.

Danzik: (looks at the Prince) You REALLY need to update that Story!

The Prince: Well I have this story too! In addition, 2 other stories! Moreover, I have a ton of Beta Story Projects I'm working on!

M-Lord: Damn, you're busy.

Zelda: (walks into the room, completely bald)

The Prince: What happened to you?

Zelda: You already f(beep)ing know what happened.

M-Lord: Gum?

Zelda: Yea.

Zant (runs into the room wearing nothing but a thong) TIME FOR THE CHICKEN DANCE! ! ! (starts doing the chicken dance.)

Everyone else: (trying to rip their eyes out)

BP: Riiiaaaaaannnniiiiiix!

Rianix: (flys down and eats Zant alive) (flys away)

The Prince THANK GOD FOR THAT DRAGON! ! !

BP: Next Review! It's from_**godly345.**_

Godly345- Time for suffering and death (BEEP)s!

Illa- RUN!(gets sucked into pit with Tails Doll)

Authors: Be locked in a room with Navi for 12 years and you can't do anything to her. Anyone who fails gets their powers and weapons taken away and thrown to the Tails Doll.

Midna: Don't worry no torture for you. Today you get to marry Link. So proud of you older half sister.

Link: YOU BETTER NOT DO ANYTHING TO HURT MIDNA OR ELSE YOUR HEART WILL BE RIPPED OUT STUFFED DOWN YOUR THROUT AND HEAD GETS CHAINSAW LASER TREATMENT!

Zelda: I can see your jelousy spewing like a volcano. It says in your dairy page 65 how madly in love you are with Link. Read it out loud The Prince. And lucky for you that some cultures say guys can have more than one wife so it's all up to Midna to deside.

Zant and Ganondork: EAT BOOT!(smashes both of their heads with boots)

Illa: No need for any dares to be done since the Tails Doll was it.

Godly345- Well good luck with the Tails Doll when he gets Illa's soul and comes out of the pit.(poofs Midna and Link to their heonymoon and then fades to dark ness)

The Prince: uff, man I'm kinda tired.

M-Lord: was a long chapter to write, wasn't it?

The Prince: yeh, kinda, not to mention I had a lot of fun in this summer vacation.

Midna3452: you still have some more vacation, right? I mean, its not over yet.

The Prince: Yep.

Zelda cast: (beep) we knew it could not last longer.

The Prince: indeed, now, let us start with the reviews.

Zelda cast: (sigh)

The Prince: Don't you dare to boss me around like that in my own realm!

Godly345: (appears form nowhere) whatever (locks them with Navi inside) (disappears).

Midna3452: I don't like this a bit.

M-Lord: me neither.

The Prince: well, as long we Navi don't sho- (gets interrupted)

Navi: HEY! So, I heard we're gonna spend twelve years together in this room, is it true?

The Prince: oh, (beep)!. But, hmm, yes...looks like.

Navi: and you CAN'T do anything to me without losing your weapons and powers, right?

M-Lord: yea...

Navi: :)

Midna3452: Navi, I know you want to bug the hell out of us sooo bad, but don't you feel like doing something else? We could play poker if you want.

The Prince: Ses, it sounds like a nice idea to me, what do you say Navi?

Navi: ...

The Prince: so? Everything good? no bugging us to death the time?

Navi: Goddesses, I'm gonna love this...

M-Lord: oh, sh(beep)!

Midna3452: quick! get away!

M-Lord: (tries to open the gate) (beep) this! I don't like to be locked in a room with that mother(beep)ing fairy from hell.

The Prince: I(shuts his eyes trying to get ready for the incoming onslaught of annoyance)... guess we'll have to put up with this...

Midna3452 and M-Lord: have you gone insane?

The Prince: Insanity is my natural state.

Navi:HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!

M-Lord: (trying not to LISTEN to Navi's shrieks)we know, but , putting up with Navi? Dude, that's worse than insane.

The Prince: (sighs) we don't seem to have any other choice anyway.

Midna3452: fine...

M-Lord: uff...

Navi:HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!

(She kept squeaking like that during... nobody knows how long)

Midna: (reads review, then blushes)r- really? can I really marry him?

Link: marry who?

Midna:(stutters)ehm...you... (looks away and places her hand on her cheek, blushing) I can't believe someone is daring me to do this!

Link: What are you talking about?

Midna: (shows him review)

Link: (eyes widened) Holy goddesses of Hyrule!

Midna: So? (dangerously floats up to him) wWhat do you think?

Link: ehm... look, Midna, I don't wanna screw this up and I don't want to hurt your feelings whatsoever, but, I guess this particular review seems to be quite... ehmm...

Midna: (puts her hands together)but you want to, right?

Link: erhh... I guess so, I just...( gets cut off)

Midna: (hugging him tightly)I'm so, so happy right now!

Link: (muttering) well I didn't want to say no... not with such amount of threats.

At Navi's room of torture...

M-Lord: (ears bleeding, peering through the keyhole)OMG!

Navi: HEY! What?

The Prince and Midna3452:(ears bleeding) It better be good.

M-Lord: Midna is going to marry Link!

Midna3452: well, that's good news, we should congratulate them once we get out of here.

Navi: until then...( resumes her torture)

The hosts: holy (beep)!

Navi: (bugging the hell out of the hosts)

The hosts: (on the floor squirming, ears covered) AAAARGH!

Back to outside Navi's room of torture...

Fangirls (including Ruto and Saria): NOOOOOOES! Linky!

Midna: back off! he's mine!

Link:Uhmm... sorry ladies, she's right.. I guess.

Fangirls: T.T no!

Midna:hmpf!let's get out of here

Link: what?

At Navi's torture room...

The Prince: well, maybe reading this will cheer us up a little bit.

Navi: LOOK! what is it?

Midna3452: I don't like this dare, at all.

M-Lord: me neither.

The Prince: well, I got a copy of Zelda's diary, and page 64 says she's MADLY in love with Link

M-Lord: ha! I knew she hid that!

Navi: (flies up to M-Lord ear) LISTEN!

M-Lord: (twitching) Navi... right now I hate your shrieks soooooo much!(balls his fist)

Navi: ah ah ah!(pulls out review) No doing anything to me, remember?

Outside Navi's room of torture...

Zelda: no, Midna wait!

Midna: huh?

Zelda: can you share him?

Midna: (narrow her eyes at Zelda) NO FRIGGING WAY! HE'S ALL MINE!

Zelda: (jealous)but...(sobbing angrily)I lo-(balling her fists) I love him too!

Link:...(in awkward silence)

Zelda: every frigging game is named after me! He's supposed to marry ME!

Midna: I don't think so, heh.

Zelda: you (beep)

Midna: so long, losers!(warps herself and Link to her wedding, then to their honeymoon).

Zelda and fangirls: WHY!(sobbing and slamming the ground)

Random News dude: today is a sad day for Link's fangirl, for Link is getting married with Midna, the Twilight Princess. That was against many peoples' belif of Link and Princess Zelda getting married. We fear this may

cause a spike of suicides by Link Fangirls and LinkxZelda fans everywhere. NOW FOR THE WEATHER!

Zelda:(sobbing)(beep) this! (Opens her diary and begins to write) dear diary, this is the worst day of my whole life...

Fangirls: (doing the same)

You: (watching the realm's news)well, sorry for Zelda, but great for Midna!

Zant and Ganon: (show up from nowhere) yo, yo why is everyone so sad?

Zelda: screw you guys! I don't feel in a good mood.

Zant: well, then-(boot smashes his head) auch (rubbing his head)

Ganon:what the f-(also gets hit by a boot)!

Godly345:(shows up from nowhere) EAT THOSE BOOTS!

Zant and Ganon: or else?

Godly345: (pulls out AK-47) I'll kick both of your butts.

Zant and Ganon: 'kaaaay... (eating boots)ewwww!

Godly345: :), that's better (fades to darkness)

Ilia:(in the pit with Tails Doll) (beep) this! Why everyone hates me so much! (Tails Doll gets her soul)

Tails Doll:(gets out of the pit)

Zant:(eating boot)oh (beep), now what?

Ganon: Nothing good bud.

(A very terrible scene takes place here, so it's not gonna be written, because it's deemed too much for a T rated fic).

Once more, back at Navi's torture room...

The hosts: (on the floor, trying to put up with Navi)So, how long are we supposed to stay here?

Navi:LISTEN! you're supposed to stay here with me for twelve years! HEY!

Midna3452:(sigh) well, I guess it's gonna be 'til next chappie.

The Prince:(shouts) ARRRGH! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! (pulls out his royal sword).

Navi:(giggles)HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!

The Prince:(charges towards Navi) Die you (beep)ing bug from hell!

M-Lord:(intercepts the Prince with his sword) Stop, dude!

The Prince: M-Lord, get out of my (beep)ing way!

Navi: (smiling)

M-Lord: Dude, I know it's a lot to ask, but you'll have to put up with her! Otherwise you're powers and weapons will be taken away!

The Prince: But, she is sooooooo annoying!

Midna3452: We know, however, without our powers and weapons, we won't be able to punish her later.

M-Lord: Well said, Midna3452.

The Prince:(calms down) fine, but once we get the (beep) out of here, that frigging fairy is gonna pay!

Navi: 'til then (grins) be nice to me.

The Prince:(growling)

M-Lord: well, twelve years, huh? Who's up for some fanfic writing?

The rest in that room: me!

Everyone but Navi, in that room: O.o

Navi: What?

Midna3452: you actually write fanfics?

Navi: well, of course, I can write fics you know.

The Prince: right...

Navi: but first (takes in deep breath)

M-Lord:... I wish I was deaf right now

The Prince and Midna3452: same here

Navi:HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!

The Prince:Until next(Navi shrieks louder) chapter!

M-Lord: send in more reviews! We hope you enjoyed this years Summer Special!(Navi pulls out a karaoke microphone, then she begins to "sing")

Navi:("singing"?)HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT! (dancing as well)

M-Lord: Why Nintendo! Why did you have to create such an annoying character?

Navi:(shrieking or "singing")HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT!HEY!LOOK!LISTEN!WATCH OUT! I love this dare so much!

The hosts: ... twelve years...d'oh, our ears won't be the same.


	11. IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY!

(Show starts... after twelve years, but nobody got old because time doesn't work the same in the Awful Realm of Torture)

The Prince: I'm sooooo gonna enjoy ANY review daring me to kill that monster.

Midna3452 and M-Lord: yeah!

Navi: so...hmmm, twelve years already...hmm, we're cool, right?

The Hosts: (death glaring at her) What do you think?

Navi: Erhh... I guess you could use another one of my songs (pulls out microphone)

The Prince: not so fast! (uses his unholy POWA to lock her up in magic cell... Navi proof [shrieks included])

Navi: (Muffled from the cell) WHAT THE HELL? LET ME OUT! **NOW!**

The Prince: Much better.

Midna3452: Thank god, we don't have to listen to her anymore.

M-Lord: I had to go to therapy because of her!

Zelda Cast: (Walks into the room)

Link: So did you have fun with Navi?

M-Lord: HELL NAW, but I'm pretty sure she enjoyed... that little bug from hell.

Midna3452: anyways, let's get the next review done, shall we?

Everyone else: (nod in agreement)

Zelda cast: (sigh) here we go... again.

M-Lord: The next review is from_** Follower of The Prince.**_

_**I'm re posting this because i just really want this to be posted please use it also i am follower of the prince because your best writer and btw i think the adventure time one might be bad for the characters my sis hates the show X3.**_

_**DARE**_

_**Link: Go on a date with Midna as wolf link with her riding you the entire time and no changing back till it's done it must last at least 10 hours =D.**_

_**Midna: go on a date with link read his to see other info but also don't insult hurt or mention the no clothes for the whole game thing.**_

_**Ilia don't like you are annoying so go and stay inside a glue factory(prince of torture I once learned one way glue was made I think was with horse hooves being torn off the hooves) and help take the hooves off.**_

_**Zelda: Go and be in a room with Morphes (the water temple boss from ocarina of time) and not hurting it letting it do what it wants.**_

_**Midna3452: take a flamethrower and try to melt BOOM you have 10 hours.**_

_**The Prince: try to not let BOOM get melted while it has no ammunition what so ever and after that go 1 month without any weapons or you hurting anyone MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA.**_

_**TRUTHS**_

_**Navi: why do you keep saying HEY LISTEN LOOK LOOKOUT what I know it's there**_

_**Link: Midna said you were more of a friend so tell her exactly how you feel while on the date**_

_**M-Lord: Do you want to take over the show.**_

_**Please use this and thanks if you do.**__**  
><strong>_  
>The Prince: I got another follower, sweet!<p>

Minions: What about us, master?

The Prince: ah, you? You are my minion, that's different.

Stupid minion: what's the difference?

The Prince: Google it.

Stupid minion: How?

The Prince: (facepalm) just get away from here now, because you're pissing me off.

Minions: okaaay.

The Prince: Followers are smarter than that particular minion, that's for sure.

Link: Go on a date? Well, it shouldn't be much of a trouble... except for that being-a-wolf thing.

Midna: doesn't matter wolfie! (turns him into a wolf)

Wolf Link:(in wolf speak) I'm starting to think some people wants me to be a wolf forever.

Midna: (sits on him)

Wolf Link: (growls)

Midna: (raises an eyebrow) well, what are you waiting for? get moving!

Wolf Link: (does so)

Ilia: (reads review) (sighs) I still don't understand why nobody likes me.

M-Lord: if it cheers you up, there are good fics about you on fanfiction.

Ilia: Really?

M-Lord: Yeah. Now, so long, horse lover! (shoves her out the window)

The Prince: Where is she gonna end up?

M-Lord: I believe at some horrible place for her.

_** Meanwhile, inside a glue factory…**_

Tour guide: thus, glue is made with horse hooves being torn off the hooves. In addition, here is where our tour ends.

Ilia: OH. SWEET. LORD... This cannot get worse.

Tour guide: bring the horses!

Ilia: wha...?

(horses enter the factory)

Ilia: Horsies!

Tour guide: who wants to help take the hooves off?

Ilia: (gasps)

Tour guide: Oh, and you (points at Ilia)... you must do this, whether you like it or not.

Ilia: Oh yeah? Wat'cha gonna do to make me? Huh?

Tour guide:(slowly starts taking the hooves off) I can do this all day, at this rate, or you can do it at yours. It's up to you.

Ilia: … (starts taking the hooves)

_**Somewhere else...**_

Midna3452: Looks like Zelda is gonna spend some time with Morphes

Zelda: Wait, what?

M-Lord: (shoves her into a room, then locks the door)

Morphes: well, well, look at we have here. Princess Zelda...

Zelda: (pulls out a sword) ewww, back off! (review power takes place, the sword poofs out of existence)

Morphes: hehehehehe (evil grin)

Zelda: WTF?

Follower of The Prince: lol

Random Viewer: Yay!

Morphes: (starts getting closer to Zelda, then the camera turns off)

Random Viewer: Dude! What the heck! I wanted to see what happens!

The Prince: (raises an eyebrow, then shoots evil lightning at the poor soul who yelled at him)

Random Viewer: (Dead) 

The Prince: THAT is why you never question my motives…

Midna3452: (reads review) 'kay (takes a flamethrower and tries to melt Mr. Boom Boom)

Mr. Boom Boom: HA! FOOLISH MORTAL! THE PRINCE HIMSELF CREATED ME! I AM INVINCIBLE! PREPARED TO BE SHOT TO DEATH! (ammunition poofs out of existence) WTF?

Midna3452: (Melts Mr. Boom Boom) 

The Prince: (sighs) I'll get to work on fixing him later

M-Lord: (pulls out marshmallows) Nice review. (uses the flamethrower flame to cook them)

Navi: ¬_¬

Zant: :O

Ganon: Can I have some?

M-Lord: What? ("accidently" lets a very hot marshmallow slip from the metal spike, landing on Zant's face)

Zant: (in pain) AAAARGGHH! MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Navi: (breaks out of her cell) Heeeeeeey! Looook! The marshmallow is on Zant's face! (giggles)

Ganon: T.T I wanted some...do you still have more M-Lord?

M-Lord: Yes, but I'm not sharing.

Ganon:...

Navi: Listen! You're not gonna share with me either?

M-Lord: (raises an eyebrow) No. Now, read the truths part.

Navi: (sighs and reads the truths part) Because I'm helpful! (giggles)

The Prince: No you're not, you're just annoying.

Navi: (gasps) Not true!

The Prince: (mad) (shoots Navi with UNHOLY LAZAHS )

Navi: (on floor, burning)

M-Lord: (eating marshmallow, reads review) Oh really? Why should I want to take over the show?

Follower of The Prince: because it kinda looks like you are trying.

M-Lord: errrrr... no?

Random capybara: sir, we're ready to start the invasion.

You: !

M-Lord: (facepalm)

Random capybara: What are your orders?

M-Lord: (whacks the capybara)

Random capybara: auch! (squeaking?)

M-Lord: My orders are to start now! (army starts moving)

The Prince: So you're actually gonna try and take over the show? HA! YOU WILL FALL BE MY BLADE THEN!

M-Lord: No, no it's just that my army has to pass over here in order to get to Italy.

Midna3452: (looking at a map) how?

M-Lord: there is a shortcut in this realm, a portal, to be more accurate.

The Prince: Why Italy?

M-Lord: 'cuz that way I can bring you guys some pizza from there. And we all know Italian pizzas are among the best.

The Prince: SWEET. I haven't had Italian pizzas since I tried to take over Italy!

_**Meanwhile, at a Fancy restaurant...**_

Midna: I'll have a glass of water and some spaghetti.

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) I'll have a couple of steaks. I LIKE STEAKS.

Midna: ehmm, Link?

Wolf Link: ?

Midna: Dogs are not supposed to be sitting on the chair.

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) But I'mma wolf!

Midna: Whatever, get on the floor.

Wolf Link: (does so)

Waiter: here is your order (gives them the food).

Wolf Link: (staring at Midna) Do I really have to do this?

Midna: Yes.

Wolf Link: T.T

Wolf Link and Midna: (eating).

You: aren't you supposed to be running around Hyrule?

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) Holy...! That's true!

Midna: But, I'm not done yet!

The Prince: (quickly shows up from nowhere, snaps his fingers and thus, Midna is sitting on Wolf Link once again) better.

Midna: That was more odd than warping...

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) yeah...(begins to dash)

Midna: Slow down!

Wolf Link: (slows down)

Midna: that's better.

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) So... Midna, you really think I'm more than a friend for you?

Midna: ¬_¬ ( whacks him) We just got married last chapter, d'oh, what do you think?

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) Oh well, I don't remember much of the wedding. I wonder why…

Midna: hmmm... I don't remember much either, so I suppose it is because The Prince didn't write about it.

Wolf Link: (in wolf speak) Anyways... I have something to tell you.

Midna: What is it?

Wolf Link: (STILL in wolf speak) well... after all the time we spent together... the moments we lived. I've come to realize that I...(gets cut off)

M-Lord:(recording with a camera)

Link: (transforms back into a Hylian) erhh, dude? What are you doing?

M-Lord: Just recording this so later, I can send it to all ZeldaxLink fans and see their faces.

Midna3452: Friend, just leave them alone.

M-Lord: humph..'kay (walks away).

Link: thanks Midna3452.

Midna3452: No problem.

Midna: So what were you gonna say...?

Link: I lo...

M-Lord: (dancing and in a scoffing tone) Link and Midna, sitting in a tree... k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

Link and Midna: (blushing)

Midna3452:¬_¬ Prince?

The Prince: Yea? What is it?

Midna3452: Can you tell M-Lord to stop doing that?

The Prince: What is this… "that" of which you speak of?

Midna3452: (points at M-Lord)

The Prince: (sees M-Lord) Dude… what are you doing?

M-Lord: I'm acting childish because I felt like it, wanna tag along?

The Prince: HELLZ YES.

The Prince and M-Lord: (dancing and in an scoffing tone) Link and Midna, sitting on a tree... k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

Midna3452: (facepalm) looks like I have no choice (pulls out a mint Oreo)

The Prince: (stops)

M-Lord: (stops)

Midna3452: (throws the minth oreo through a window)

The Prince: (jumps out the window)

M-Lord: (does the same)

Link: What I was gonna say is that, you're a very important per- I mean, Twili to me.

Midna: How important?

Link: So important there are tons and tons of fics about you and me... and I think most of them are really…beautiful.

Midna: Really?

Link: Because, I love you! (hugs her tightly)

Midna: (choking) Link... your love… is… choking me….

Link: sorry...(releases her)

Midna: I love you too.. wolfie (kisses him)

Midna3452: awwww... they looks so cute together, I think I'm gonna write another fic abou-

M-Lord: I got it! I got the mint Oreo!

The Prince: No you don't! (an explosion is heard)

M-Lord: ouch, man that hurt!

The Prince: Hahahaha! THE OREO IS MINE!

(review power takes effect once more, and thus, The Prince loses his weapons and a sign over his head appears. It says: can't hurt anyone for a month)

The Prince: WTF?

M-Lord: (snatches the mint oreo) Hahahah! (about to eat the minth oreo, but then, it poofs out of existence)

The Prince: Hahaha!

M-Lord: WTF? there was no review saying I can't eat mint oreos...was there?

The Prince: (writing a review) LOL!

M-Lord: ¬_¬

The Prince: Hey, I'm the author! I can do what I want!

M-Lord: Oh come on! That ain't fair!

The Prince: Oh! I forgot! (takes deep breath) guess what day it is today!

Link: The day when you set us free at last?

The Prince: (laughing evilly) no, it's my birthday, so I'm gonna have extra fun torturing you.

Zelda: (sighs) well, I don't really believe it can be worse than it already is...

The Prince: (puts gum in Zelda's hair)

Zelda: Ewwwww, you monster! get this (beep) off my hair! (runs to bathroom)

Midna3452: Fine, let's get this Partah started!

M-Lord: today's first review is from _**Pyrodragon8292**_, and he says

Hmm ok truths:

_**Hosts: what would have happened to you in ocarina of time had Navi not warned you of the hands that grab and take you back to the beginning of the dungeon? (dont tell me you wouldnt have been caught at least once)**_

_**Midna, you were a bit of a jerk to Link in the beginning of twilight princess... care to explain?**_

_**Dares:**_

_**Ilia, i dont hate you (whats there to hate?) so go to LonLon Ranch and play with the horses or whatever**_

_**Everyone get turned into animals (obviously Link is a wolf and gannon is that large boar thing that gets its ** whipped by said wolf) and see what happens when wild animal instincts go crazy.**_

_**Oh and Ruto? you get ...the prize of being more annoying than Navi. (someone kick her ** for me plz i dont care who.)  
><strong>_  
>Midna3452: well, I believe I would have been very mad at the frigging hand. Then I would probably borrow Link's sword to try and kill it.<p>

Link: (hugging his sword) but, I don't feel like letting you have it...

Midna3452: (pulls out an AK-47) say what?

Link: I said nothing!

The Prince: (reads review) well I would probably use MAH UNHOLY POWA to prevent such a thing, and even if it happens, I'll had my army of commie lizards to take care of it.

Zelda: what army?

(army shows up, looking all scary)

Zelda: oh,uh... so that army...

The Prince: yes, that army :P.

M-Lord: hmmm, well, I would throw a bomb at it.

Link: Just curious dude, where are you getting those bombs from?

M-Lord: You'll lend me some.

Link: Why?

M-Lord:(pulls out a weird document) I have in my power a contract, which could allow the release of a second OoT, this time... with much more Navi. The only thing needed for that to happen, is Navi's sign... so, want that to happen?

Link: no, no, NO! please, I had enough of that fairy already!

M-Lord: Yup, I thought so.

Midna:(reads review) He growled at me! Such a bad wolfie! Besides, I was kinda bored and it wasn't like it would really piss him off, right?

Link: ¬_¬ ... whatever.

Midna: I was just teasing him, nothing serious.

Ilia: really! Thanks Pyrodragon8292!(goes to LonLon and starts playing with horses.)

Horses:(facepalm...somehow)

Ilia: Horsies! guess who's here to play with you!

The Prince: ¬_¬

M-Lord: Just a suggestion, can someone at least, throw a giant boulder at her?

Midna:(warps a giant boulder right over Ilia)

Ilia: oh, what happened with the sun?(looks at the sky) WTF? (gets smashed)

The Prince:(claps)Outstanding.

Midna:(smiling) thanks!

Ruto: (some random nobel prize guy hands her "the most annoying LoZ character ever!" nobel prize) oh, thanks, thanks! I love all of you!

Random crowd in the screen:*cheering and clapping*

M-Lord:O.o

The Prince: you do know what the prize is for being more annoying than Navi, don't you?

Ruto: I... wait a second... WHAT?

Midna3452: and that means... Zelda, would you mind?

Zelda: not at all (kicks Ruto's ass!)

Ruto: that hurt b(beep)ch!

Zelda: (folds her arms across her chest) oh really?

Ruto: you mo(beep)ing s(beep)t! (starts fighting Zelda)

Zelda: (yelling some very bad words and throwing some punches and kicks)

M-Lord: Well, while those two fight, let's get on with this.

Midna3452: sure.

Everyone but you:(get turned into animals)

Link: yay! I'm a wolf again.

Ganon: sucks to have this shape...(gets his butt whipped by Link) OW!

Link: :P

M-Lord: yo, what be up guys?

Link: O.o

Midna:(as wolf) Link! What are you staring at?

Link:o.O and you're a wolf too?

Midna:(giggling) I didn't know it was this cool.

Link: Yea...

Midna: Why that look in your face?

Link: I don't know what or who THAT is (gestures at something that looks like an over sized guinea pig)

M-Lord: It's me, M-Lord, and I'm a capybara :P.

Random kitty: (chasing after a bunny)

Bunny: HELP!(runs to hide behind M-Lord)

Random kitty: (running so fast that he crashes against M-Lord)

M-Lord: (looking down at the random kitty, all serious looking)

Random kitty:(gasps)

M-Lord: got any problem with rodents, little buddy?

Random kitty:(Runs away)

Bunny: thanks dude!

M-Lord: no problem.

Zelda(as a dove):(flying)well, this is not bad, flying is fun.

Toon Zelda(as a toon dove):(flying) I'm a pweetty dove!

M-Lord: awww... cute, can you sing?

Toon Zelda and Zelda: ya!(start singing... a nice cuppy song)

M-Lord: AWWWW!You both look like such a nice couple of sisters.

Toon Link(as a toon wolf):gwaw! Whew awe the gwest?

M-Lord: I suppose we 'll have to...(gets cut off)

(A tiger shows up)

M-Lord:O.O (backing off)

Tiger:(getting closer to where the conversation is taking place)

M-Lord: Errr... buddy? You do know your cousin, the ocelot, reached a peace arrangement between our kinds... don't you?

Tiger: Don't be so scared M-Lord, don't you guys recognize me?

M-Lord: (raising an eyebrow, somehow) Midna3452?

Midna3452:(purring) yup, that's me. (pulls out a ball of wool) Now, if you excuse me, I have some fun ahead (starts playing with the ball of wool)

Link: yay, a tiger huh?

Midna: (nods) looks like

Zelda: I wonder what's the Prince gonna look like..

?: ROAR!

M-Lord: did that sound like some really big cat?

Lion: RAWR! Yes it did, buddy!

M-Lord: HOLY MASTER OF GRASS! What is this, big cat's day?

Lion: guys, it's me, The Prince.

M-Lord:(pale)

The Prince:errh... you okay dude?

M-Lord: dude... you freaked me the (beep) out.

The Prince: because I'm a lion?

M-Lord:(beep), yes! This is like cat and mice, only that the scales are larger.

The Prince: lol.

M-Lord: Anyways, there are more cha...(gets cut off)

(ball of wool rolls up to them)

The Prince:(eyes widened)

Midna3452:(catches the ball of wool) Mine!

The Prince:(looking angrily at her) I want that ball of wool!

Midna3452: nah, nah, nah get your OWN ball of wool.

The Prince: but... I want to play too...

Midna3452:hmpf! I'm not sharing it!

The Prince: oh, yes you will! (epic big cat vs big cat fight takes place)

Everyone else, even you: (Staring dumbfounded)

Midna3452: MINE!

The Prince: SHARE! DON'T BE A BAD KITTY!

Midna3452: DON'T CALL ME KITTY!

The Prince: WHATEVER, KITTY!

Zelda:I'm gonna fly the hell out of here, before this gets really bad (evil lightning gets her, practically turning her into roasted dove)

Link:(sniffing) you don't smell so bad Zelda, lol.

Zelda:... shut up.

Saria(as a blue jay): what's going on here?

M-Lord: The Prince and Midna3452 are fighting over a ball of wool.

Saria: Why? are they cats or something?

M-Lord: Take a look by yourself.

Saria: (does so) oooooooohhhh..(flys so close she almost gets bumped by Midna3452) whoa! Watch it!

Midna3452: sorry! It wasn't for you.

Saria: hmpf!

(Human shows up, carrying a fishbowl)

Human: waddup?

Midna: Who are you?

Human: I'm Epona

Link: O.o you look better as human.

Midna: (clears throat, then glares at Link)

Link: oh, eh but not as pretty as Midna of course.

Midna: :)

Epona: ¬_¬ well, whatever, this fish over here is a little bit weird.

Goldfish: having golden scales kinda suits me :P

Link: you're Ruto, right?

Ruto: golden PRINCESS Ruto for you, Link.

Midna:(mumbling) more like cheap fish Ruto...

Ruto: Say what?

Midna: Nothing.

Horse: this is a dream come true!

Zelda: let me guess... Ilia?

Horse: that's right! It's me Ilia!

Everyone else: -.-

Ilia: and I'm just gonna stare at my reflex on (pulls out a mirror) this mirror because this is a moment I must remember forever!

Ilia:(tries to look at the mirror but... it breaks) :O

Link: :P

M-Lord: (shoves Ilia in the middle of The Prince and Midna3452's epic fight)

Saria: will she get scars?

M-Lord: you bet.

Midna: nice.

Link: I guess, that's it for now.

M-Lord: aha, I believe we can call this a day...(sits and starts eating grass)

Midna: O.o

M-Lord:(eating grass) what?

Midna: why are you eating grass?

M-Lord: this grass is clean, very green and healthy, it's good stuff for me  
>?: HEY!<p>

Link: what was that?

M-Lord: yup, nice grass... though... wait a second... this part... tastes... weird? (chews more, then widens his eyes and spits out a ant) PUAAAAAAAAAAJ! (trying to clean his tongue) Ewwww! NAVI!

Navi(as an ant): Weren't you LISTENing? You were about to eat me!

M-Lord: I would have probably puke you out anyways.

Midna: was she tasty?

M-Lord: I don't wanna talk about that experience (shudders)

The Prince: (gasping)

Midna3452: (gasping)

M-Lord: so? who won?

Midna3452: the ball of wool... looks like we...unballed it (sobbing)

The Prince:(sighs) that sucked...

M-Lord: well, I guess that's it for now, let's get to a restaurant to celebrate The Prince's birthday!

Everyone else: yeah!

Navi: Hey! wait for m-(gets cut off) LOOK OUT! DON'T STOMP ON ME!

Everyone else:(running and stomping over her)

Navi:(twitching in pain)

M-Lord: ow, I forgot, wrong way guys, it's over there(points at somewhere else, and Navi is right on the path)!

Navi: What? NO! M-Lord, you stupid over sized guinea pig! LOOK! I'M HERE! DON'T

Everyone else:(running and stomping over her...AGAIN)

Navi:(squirming in pain) I... don't... feel... my... body (dies [THANK GOD]).

_**(A/N): Well, we got our revenge on Navi, and IT'S MAH BIRTHDA! BE HAPPY! GIVE ME REVIEWS AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT! SQUEEEEEEE!**_


	12. BIRTHDAY PARTAH kind of

_**I'd like to thank the people who have read this, you guy are awesome, ya know that? I'm thinking of making a Reviewer Awards show to give (imaginary, but still awesome) awards. We'll see how it works out.**_

_**Now it's time for mah B-day party chaptah! BOOYAH!**_

The Prince: (walks into the studio)

(No one else is there)

The Prince: WTF? Guys! Get out here NOW! It's time for the show!

(No one answers)

The Prince: I swear to god, if you don't get here RIGHT NOW, I WILL FRICKING RIP YOUR-!

Everyone else: (Jumps out from random places) SURPRISE! ! !

The Prince: WTF? ?

M-Lord: Happy birthday, dude!

Midna: WE hope you like to partah!

Link: BOOYAH!

The Prince: (embarrassed) You know you guys didn't have to throw me a party…

Midna3452: You want us to leave, then?

The Prince: No! PARTAH ON! ! !

(Random fireworks go off)

Link: AWESOME!

M-Lord: Let's start with a Dare! From _**ME!**_

_**I see you have plenty of reviews, so I'll make this short.**_

_**Truths.**_

_**Zelda: having the triforce of wisdom, means that you're actually wise or, there is someone in your head (I don't know, a goddesses maybe?) telling you everything you need to know?**_

_**Dares.**_

_**Ilia: a nuke is gonna be landing right on top of your head, very soon. Stay where you're or else, every existent horse will be crushed by big anvils.**_

_**Everyone but Ilia: stay away from the target (Ilia)**_

_**That's it for now. Until next time.**_

Zelda: The answer to that would be that I am very wise, I am very spiritually light as well.

The Prince: BORING.

Midna3452: DUCK AND COVER! ! !

Everyone but Ilia: (duck and cover)

Ilia: What? Whats wrong? Why did you guys-? (Gets blown to hell with a nuke!)

The Prince: THAT. WAS. AWESOME! ! !

Midna3452: Okay, this one is from _**pyrodragon82**_!

_**Prince: re-make Mr. Boom boom into a rapid fire bazooka and shoot ruto with it.**_

_**M-lord: turn ruto back into a goldfish (or keep her like that when everyone else is human again) and feed to wolf link.**_

_**Wolf link: eat goldfish ruto (you have permission to do whatever is neccessary to improve/negate the awful taste)**_

_**Everyone go to the beach for a day and spend part of that time as servants to toon link and toon zelda**_

_**Toon link and toon zelda: Direct the building of a gigantic sand castle at said beach.**_

_**Fyi i am not necessarily an ilia fan, but i dont see any real reason to hate her so...**_

The Prince: I'm always up for some torture (re-makes Mr. Boom boom into a rapid fire bazooka...in just a couple of seconds)

Zelda: how the (beep) did you do that so fast?

The Prince: Zelda, at this point, you should realize this realm is completely under my power; even its physic laws, nature and/or logic are under my control.

Zelda: I still don't get it...

The Prince: I can turn you into a roast dove without even really doing anything, do you get that?

Zelda: but I'm not a dove anymore.

The Prince: (turns her into a chicken) Indeed.

Zelda: you know, I'm starting to believe I should keep my mouth closed, no talking...

The Prince:(shots EVIL LAZAH at her!...but didn't kill her, she just got fried)

Zelda: (smells like fried chicken)

Toon Zelda: whewe is Zelda?

Midna3452: she's right there(points at Zelda).

Toon Zelda: O.O

Zelda: don't ask...just…don't.

Toon Zelda: ok...

M-Lord: so, where is Ruto?

Ruto: right here!

M-Lord: ah, you're back to normal.

Ruto: yup.

M-Lord: not for long.

Ruto: wha...(gets turned into a goldfish)?

Midna: this... shape shifting thing is getting kinda weird.

The Prince: says the imp who forced Link to become a wolf over and over again.

Midna: ¬_¬... we had to save our worlds...

The Prince: still, you should be used to it.

Midna: not really.

The Prince: huh.

Midna3452: hmmm... M-Lord?

M-Lord: yah?

Midna3452: I guess Ruto could use some water.

Ruto:(dying from lack of water ) can't... breath...

M-Lord: (sighs) fine, you crybaby. (places Ruto in a fishbowl)

Ruto: Phew! Thanks! I was gonna die right there.

M-Lord: lol, don't thank me yet.

Ruto: What do you mean by that?

The Prince: Midna, could you please?

Midna: no problem (turns Link into a wolf)

Link(in wolf speak): now what the (beep) do you people want the that just NEEDS me to be a wolf!

The Prince: THIS! (pulls out an upgraded version of Mr. Boom boom) say your prayers FISHY!

Ruto: OMG!

( Ruto's fishbowl grows a couple of legs and starts to run away as The Prince shoots several times at Ruto, barely missing for inches... on purpose, of course)

Midna3452:O.o

Ilia: seriously... wtf is with all this weird stuff?

Midna: I have no idea.

The Prince: YO CAN'T RUN AWAY FOR EVAH! (shoots at her once more, this time fishbowl shatters into thousands of tiny shards)

Ruto: (flopping on the floor, gasping for breath) HELP!

Link(still as a wolf): Why do I have to?

M-Lord: 'cuz the review says so

Link: But, I don't like fish! That's for cats!

M-Lord: Listen bud, I don't care, you'll do as this (smashes review against Link's face) commands!

Link: I…(explosion in background)

The Prince: (laughing like crazy) ohhhh fishy! Come out Ruto, come out and play with His Evil Highness! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ruto: (hiding) WTF with this review? I thought people loved me! Why would they dare me to this!

You: Ruto...you don't have as many fans as Link, Zelda or Midna.

Ruto:WHY?

You: Because-what the? OHHH (BEEP)! (fourth wall crashes right on top of you)

Ruto: O.o

M-Lord: (randomly shows up) What'cha doooin? You okay?

Ruto: (beep) no! I'm getting chased down by the ruler of this realm, whom by the way, has a friggin' rapid fire bazooka!

M-Lord: oh…well…hmm... whatever, look there is a review saying I must feed you to Wolf Link, so...

Ruto: REALLY?

M-Lord: erhh, yeah.

Ruto: where the (beep) is that fur ball?

Link: (shows up) stupid review, daring me to eat fish...

Ruto: (darts towards Link...somehow) coming through!

Link; (gawking) wha...? (Ruto runs inside his mouth)

M-Lord: oh, well, that was easier than I thought

Link: Ugh, get out of there!

Ruto: (hugging Link's tongue) not 'til it's safe.

Link: Ruto, you taste horribly! get the (beep) out of my mouth! (shakes, trying to get rid of the fish)

Ruto:Not gonna!

The Prince: where's that fish!

Link and Ruto: (silence)

M-Lord: (quietly reading a cooking book) ah?

The Prince: dude, have you seen Ruto?

M-Lord: she's hiding in Link's mouth (gets to next page) ah, found it! "How to cook a good meal out of a fish princess who became a goldfish"!

The Prince: O.o

Ruto: (forces Link's mouth open, revealing herself) M-Lord, WTF? Where do you get those books?

M-Lord: (getting ready to cook) weird bookstores, but they have 40% off on Tuesdays! Besides, they have good books.

The Prince: TIME TO DIE! (aims Mr. Boom Boom at Ruto and Link)

Ruto: f(beep)ing run!

Link: (angry) I'd rather spit you out! and that's it! Just get out of there!

Ruto: no please!

The Prince:OH SHUT UP YOU TWO ALREADY! (shoots)

Ruto and Link: (take the full impact... but they were not blown to pieces, instead, they were sent flying towards somewhere, due to the strength of the explosion)

Link: I hate you Ruto!

Ruto: SORRY!

Midna3452: We're not done with the review yet.

The Prince: I know.

M-Lord: Wha-? Where is Ruto? How I'm supposed to cook a meal out of a fish without fish?

The Prince: Why do you wanna do that all of the sudden anyways?

M-Lord: I thought I could make Ruto taste better. Maybe that way, Link wouldn't suffer as much.

The Prince: Well, don't worry for that, they're gonna be flying for a while.

M-Lord: Okay then. Next thing to do is...?

Midna3452: Go to the beach.

The Prince: To the beach then!

_**15 minutes later…**_

M-Lord: There, done with that... now...

Toon Link and Toon Zelda: help us make a sand castle!

The rest: …Fine.

_**6 hours later…**_

The hosts: (gasping)

M-Lord: well, at least it looks...

Midna3452: (gasping as well) epic...

(Huge and epic sand castle is shown before them)

Toon Zelda: (on top of the sand castle we wule the castle!

Toon Link: (on top of the sand castle as well, smiling)

M-Lord: well, it's getting late, I believe we should call it a day.

Midna3452:Where do you think Link and Ruto landed?

M-Lord: IDK

Midna: (sighs)

Midna3452: what's wrong Midna?

Midna: I'm missing Link, he hasn't been here in the beach with us...

M-Lord: cheer up! We just built an awesome sand castle! I mean, yeah, I'm tired, and I bet everyone else is tired too, but... BEHOLD! this sand castle shall overcome the trial of time! (keeps on with his speech, all inspired) It shall remain here, it's awesomeness will shine from now on, FOREVER!

(whistling form something falling from the sky)

Everyone but M-Lord: (staring dumbfounded)

M-Lord: Yes, even you recognize the awesomeness of the castle! I...

?: WATCH OUT!

(the thing that was falling towards the castle, impacts said castle)

M-Lord: (turns back) what was that?

(castle collapses)

M-Lord: :O

Link and Ruto: (show up)

Link: (spits out Ruto and turns back into a human)

Ruto: (turns back into former self)

Midna3452: how did you shape shift without magic?

Ruto: I suppose it's the flight time, who would say this much hours of flight could change me back to normal?

Midna3452: That doesn't make any sense...

Ilia: I guess it does here.

Midna: Link! (runs up to him and hugs him)

Link: I missed you too...

The Prince: I'm tired...

Midna3452: well, that's it then.

M-Lord: (before the collapsed sand castle, fell on his knees)

Toon Link and Toon Zelda: (playing with a mini-sand castle, not caring about the epic castle getting destroyed)

Ruto: time to go!

Everyone but M-Lord and Ruto: (leave)

Ruto: are you okay?

M-Lord: (twitching) six hours...six hours it took me and the others to build this castle... you and Link show up and ruin it in a heartbeat...

Ruto: hmm, it ain't such a big deal bud...

M-Lord: (slowly turns his gaze towards Ruto) not a "big deal"? (pulls out knife)

Ruto: erhhm...you really need to chill, before you do something crazy.

M-Lord: Someone else will take care of Link, but you, FISHY, well, I'm gonna give you three seconds...

Ruto: bud...

M-Lord: 3!

Ruto: I..

M-Lord: 2!

M-Lord: 1! You'll regretthe day you were born!

Ruto: It wasn't my fault!

M-Lord: (throws 1500 very sharp knives at her)

_**After M-Lord stopped trying to kill Ruto…**_

Ruto: (Sitting in a chair, putting bandages on her wounds)

M-Lord: (still reading that weird book on how to cook fish)

Midna3452: Uh… Let's keep this going! This review is from… _**Some one evil**_?

_**Sup! (grins evilly)**_

_**You must all go to Pizza Hut...WITH DATES! And Here is who dates who.**_

_**Link and Midna (You're welcome, by the way)**_

_**Navi and Tingle**_

_**M-Lord and Ilia**_

_**Midna3452 and Ganondorf**_

_**Toon Link and Toon Zelda**_

_**The Prince and...Zelda. (that DEFINITELY won't end well)**_

_**It MUST last for a whole 3 hours.**_

_**BYE! (laughs maniacally)**_

The Prince: (looks horrified) Oh god…there is no way in HELL that I'm doing that.

Zelda: (blushing) There is no way I'm going out with _HIM!_

Link: Uh… you DO realize you're blushi-

Zelda: (punches Link in the face)

Link: AAAHHH! THE PAIN! (runs into a wall, screaming in PAIN!)

M-Lord: Prince, you really don't have a choice…

The Prince: NO.

Midna3452: It's not like its gonna kill you.

The Prince: …Fine. But I WON'T acknowledge her existence while I'm there!

Zelda: (sarcastic) WONDERFUL.

Toon Zelda: heeheehee! My fiwst date!

Toon Link: I'm gonna wuv this!

The Prince: (muttering) Those two are too innocent for their own good…

M-Lord: Agreed.

Tingle: (poofs from nowhere) FAIRY LOVE!

Navi: (hits him with a baseball bat) I'm gonna hate this…

Midna3452: You think TINGLE is bad? ! ? I have to go out with HIM! (points at Ganon)

Ganon: I feel insulted…(sniff)…

M-Lord: (sighs) I'm gonna hate this.

Ilia: WHY CAN'T I GO ON A DATE WITH EPONA? ! ?

Epona: -_-' (in horse speak) Why haven't I killed her yet…?

The Prince: TO PIZZA HUT! (transports everyone to Pizza Hut)

_**At Pizza Hut…**_

Everyone: (sitting with their "Dates")

The Prince: …

Zelda: …Sooooo…

The Prince: Don't talk to me, or I'll kill you.

Zelda: O_O' (shuts up)

Waiter: (walks up to the group) Hello everyone! What'll you have?

The Prince: Me and Zelda will a large pepperoni pizza with Root Beer.

Zelda: But I don't like-

The Prince: Shut up.

M-Lord: Me and Ilia will take a Supreme with Coca Cola.

Waiter: Alright. (Turns to Midna3452 and Ganon) And What'll you two have?

Midna3452: Cheese Pizza and Cola.

Ganon: (thinking) This girl freaking scares me…

Midna: What do you want to eat, Link?

Link: IDK, What do YOU want to eat?

Midna: IDK, what do YOU want to eat?

Link: IDK, what do YOU-

The Prince: THEY'LL TAKE CANDIAN BACON PIZAA WITH LEMON/LIME SODA! ! !

M-Lord: Thank you for making them shut the hell up.

The Prince: No Problem.

Zelda: (thinking) I'm so freaking terrified right now…

Tingle: Me and Navi will have a small 4-cheese pizza. AND IF YOU DON'T GET IT HERE WITHIN 20 MINUTES I SHALL KILL YOU WITH MY FAIRY POWERS!

Navi: (thinking) Somebody just kill me…

Toon Link: Me and my pwetty date want a Pepewwoni Pizza!

Toon Zelda: heeheehee! This is so fun!

Waiter: Alright, I'll have your orders done momentarily! (Runs into the kitchen) Hey fat-asses! We've got an order, so get to it! Make PIZZA!

The Prince: (sighs) I love this place…

Zelda: Why?

The Prince: Because the employees always insult eachother… _**(A/N: This is not actually true, Pizza Hut is a Nice restaurant.) **_

_**10 hours later…**_

Waiter: (comes back with the food [finally]) Sorry it took so long! The lazy butt-head cooks don't want to do anything anymore…

The Prince: Yea, whatever. Take the money so we can eat. (hands a 500$ check to the Waiter)

M-Lord: Does it really cost that much?

Midna3452: No, but since when does Prince care how much he spends?

M-Lord: That's true…

_**After everyone finishes their food… (I need to get a new job! This sucks!)**_

The Prince: (burp) Damn... that was freaking delicious!

M-Lord: that has to be the first time we got through something without anything weird happening.

Madame Axe'm (Formerly known as TenshiPrime): (poofs out of nowhere and grabs The Prince) We gonna get married! (poofs away with The Prince)

Everyone else: 0_0

M-Lord: I stand corrected.

_**Is the Prince really getting married? Is this fic just starting to get so random that it doesn't make sense anymore? Will the cast ever get through a single day without anything without anything weird happening? Will-**_

M-Lord: Shut up, Announcer! You're just annoying the viewers!

_**Will I ever be appreciated? Will I just jump off a cliff because no one likes me? Or will I go on an Evil rampage of Revenge? All this and more, next time on "LOZ: The Awful Realm of Torture"!**_


	13. Holy Crap Lot's of Craziness!

_**READ THIS AUTHOR NOTE OR **__**DIE.**_

_**Since the characters convinced (bribed) me to give them a Vacation. Now we'll learn about the weird things they did during their vacations.**_

_**Also, Midna has been is in her true form from now on. You'll see why.**_

_**Disclaimer: I now own LOZ Franchise! WOOOOOOOOOT! Ha, just kidding.**_

_**Oh, I forgot to mention I gonna use lines to separate the dares from the story, so I'm gonna go through my old chapters and add that in for them if I get the chance.**_

Everyone except for The Prince: (Walking back to The Prince's Palace of Torture)

Link: I wonder how The Prince spent his Vacation…

M-Lord: Probably spent it hunting down Santa Claus just because he was bored.

Everyone: (Walk into the Palace of Torture)

(No one is seen)

Link: Uh… where's The Prince?

M-Lord: Dunno. (everyone starts looking for The Prince)

Midna3452: (looks in The Prince's Throne room and sees him sitting on his throne sleeping) Found him!

Sheik: (walks out of The Prince's closet) Man it stinks in there.

Midna352: …What the hell were you doing in there.

Sheik: (looks around) I'm not really sure.

(everyone shows up)

Link: Sheik? (thinking) Oh crap, now come the debate on whether or not Sheik is a girl…

Zelda: (looks at Sheik) So… you're here too?

Sheik: (nods) Unfortunately.

The Prince: (wakes up) Huh? What? Where's Axe'm? !

Midna3452: How should we know?

The Prince: Oh…it was… just a dream… Well, since that is out of the way, can we please get this over with?

M-Lord: Alright, Prince. We'll start the show. The first is from _**Me**_.

(line break)

_**MostazalsLord**_

_**"Midna3452: You want us to leave, then?**_

_**The Prince: No! PARTAH ON! ! !" xD**_

_**"Ilia: What? Whats wrong? Why did you guys-? (Gets blown to hell with a nuke!)" yesh!**_

_**Impressing... this fic has reached such high levels of randomness. Tenshi showing up like that, huh. The weirdness and fun of this fic keeps amusing me to no end.**_

_**A good chapter, Prince.**_

_**And I have a few questions and dares.**_

_**Questions:**_

_**Zelda: who taught you how to use a sword?**_

_**Link: do you happen to have at least an idea of who your parents are?**_

_**Zant: what the hell was crossing your parents' mind when they raised you?**_

_**Midna: before taking over your realm, how powerful was Zant?**_

_**Dares:**_

_**Zelda:*hands her a mysterious box* open it...**_

_**Navi: hold your breath, for as long as you can(muahahahhaha).**_

_**Ilia: *hands her a pretty nice flower* for you, lady. Enjoy (remember to smell it slowly)**_

_**Hosts:wear gasmasks(you'll see why)**_

_**Link and Midna: get away from there, and play a chess match, winner gets a cookie.**_

_**Zant: create a magic barrier that prevents only Navi and Ilia from getting out.**_

_**Everyone but Navi and Ilia:get out after the next dare**_

_**Zelda:you're smart, quite a bit...did you realize the box you just opened contained a decent amount of anthrax(poison)? Yes, you did breath it. Ganon's got the cure, try and get it...**_

_**Ganon: Zelda has to do as you wish in order to get the cure.**_

_**Ilia and Navi: well, what can I say? coughing is not a good sign... and you should start doing so in a while. Lol, 'til next time someone decides to bring you back to life.**_

_**Other than that...wishing all of you a lot of fun!**_

(line break)

Sheik: No dares for me, then?

The Prince: This is the first chapter you've been in, how could you have a dare?

Sheik: (looks smug) Well then, if you'll excuse me I'll go get some popcorn. (leaves to find the popcorn machine)

Zelda: (reads the question) I was taught by my father.

The Prince: WOW, that is SO EXCITING. (sarcastic, if you didn't notice)

Zelda: (rolls eyes) Whatever.

Link: I'm pretty sure my parents were just average people. Of course, they died before I could ever get to know them so… IDK.

Zant: (reads his question) What's that supposed to mean?

M-Lord: I was just asking, you psycho.

Zant: I have feelings too, you know!

The Prince: Does it look like any of us CARE?

Zant: … (goes and cries in THE CORNER)

Midna: (reads her question) He was a weakling. It wasn't even funny, he just acted like a psycho little kid all the time. (starts eating Vanilla ice cream with pickles in it)

Everyone else: …

Midna: (sees everyone staring at her) …What?

Midna3452: Why are you eating ice cream with PICKLES IN IT?

Midna: (offended) Is that a crack about my weight!

Midna3452: No. But now that you mention it, you DO look kinda big…

Midna: (starts crying) Why are you all doing this to me?

Link: Oh crap. (runs up to Midna and hold her hand) Shhh. It's okay, why don't you get something to eat. Alright?

Midna: (sniff) Thanks Link…(kisses his cheek and waddles into the kitchen. I'm serious, she actually WADDLED)

Link: (sighs, then turns to see everyone staring at him) What?

The Prince: The HELL is up with your wife, dude?

Link: (gets nervous) Uh...What're you talking about? She's perfectly fine! Everything's fine! (laughs nervously)

The Prince: …Let's just continue with the dare.

Link: Sure, let's do that!

M-Lord: (hands Zelda a mysterious box) OPEN IT…

Zelda: …Uh…okay.

Navi: (holds breath for 5 seconds, then explodes)

Everyone else in the world: (laughs outrageously)

M-Lord:(turns to Ilia) And I think you'll appreciate this flower I brought you (hands her a cute, innocent flower)

Ilia: Oh, thank you M-Lord! (Smells it slowly) (starts coughing) Whoa, strong smell.

Link: (runs into the kitchen) Midna! We need go play chess!

Midna: Was it a dare?

Link: Yeah.

Midna: (sighs) Fine. (they leave to play chess)

Zant: (too busy crying in THE CORNER to make a magic barrier.

Zelda: (opens the mysterious box) Oh crap, there's anthrax in this!

M-Lord: Wow, you ARE smart! Bravo!

Ganondorf: And I have the cure! (Laughs evilly)

Zelda: … (sits down and let the anthrax kill her)

Ganondorf: …Why does everyone hate me? !

M-Lord: It's cuz' you're ugly, dude.

Ganondorf: … (joins Zant's crying session in THE CORNER)

Sheik: (comes back with a bag of popcorn) I miss anything?

M-Lord: No, not real-

Midna3452: Yes! You missed a dare!

M-Lord: (catches on) Uh, Yeah!

Sheik: Ok, what is the dare?

The Prince: Uh…are you a boy or a girl?

Sheik: (blushes confusedly) Why are they asking that? …Isn't it obvious what my gender is?

Midna3452: Not really, no.

Sheik: Er, well…I don't feel comfortable answering this.

The Prince: I don't care.

Sheik: … I don't think I'm gonna answer this.

Everyone else: …

The Prince: Fine. But until you tell us, we'll just assume you're both a boy AND a girl.

Sheik: That's…disturbing.

The Prince: I don't care.

Sheik: Is there ANYTHING you care about?

The Prince: (points to Midna3452 and M-Lord) I care about my two friends over there.

M-Lord and Midna3452: (high-five each other)

The Prince: (looks into the camera) And I care about all my awesome reviewers.

You: (looks at Sheik) You just got OWNED! (runs away so the fourth wall doesn't kill you)

Sheik: (grumbles) Whatever. (goes to sulk in THE EMO CORNER)

The Prince: Now let's continue, shall we? This next one if from _**godly345**_

(line break)

_**godly345- Hello (beebs). Sorry I was gone for so long but I had same dificulties getting past my mom to review.**_

_**Xylter(my oc)- *pulls out an organ and plays jaws theme on it***_

_**Link: DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT DIVORSING MIDNA ESPESALY BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS! IF YOU DO THEN I WILL KILL YOU REPEATABLY FOR CRUSHING MY AWSOME HALFSISTERS HEART!*kills the person who dared Link to divorse Midna***_

_**Midna: *hands her a document* This forbids you and Link from ever divoring. I can`t wait to see my little niece/nefew also!*gives her a hug***_

_**Sairi: You get to marry kid Link.* said Link comes in and carries her off bridal style into a bedroom***_

_**Ruto: EAT BOOT!* curb stomps her face***_

_**Zant: Look. *takes out a mulcher(gun) and starts fireing at him***_

_**Authors: You got off that but can you handle this? Be locked in a room with Navi, Elmo, Sepherioth, Barney, and WACO JACKO!(michael jackson) for 20 years. Each chapter will take up 4 years. If you do anything to them your powers and weapons get taken away and you stay in there for 50 more years. If 1 of you die each poerson gets only 1 of the punishments each. While you are in there the show will be hosted by me or Gyngis(can`t spell it) or me. I have brown hair dark enough to be black, brown eyes, and wear a lot of black and a pair of shades.**_

_**Zant and Gannondushe: Fight me. You should know that I can use twiti magic and the hidden triforce piece the triforce of unity which can control the other pieces and use thier abilities.**_

_**Zelda: You have a choise. Either marry Link and face the rath of me and ma sis or be with Dark female from Keybladeboy`s fic. She`s a lesbien. *starts aiming with chicago typewriter(gun from resident evil)***_

_**godly345- Will this be enough torture?**_

_**Xylter- Why couldn`t you pair Zelda with me?**_

_**Xeneveigve(nother oc)- Cause then I would kill you for cheating on me.*reves up chainsaw***_

_**Xylter- R-r-r-r-right.*starts fanning her* She stares me.**_

_**godly345- Whatever dude. *goes off to plan next set***_

(line break)

Link: HOW DID SHE KNOW ABOUT THAT! ?

Everyone else except for Midna: 0_0'

Link: (sees everyone staring at him) Uh… I mean "Midna isn't pregnant! That's crazy!" (laughs nervously)

Midna: (has a bulge in her stomach) Yeah! That's crazy! (laughs nervously)

The Prince: …We're not stupid, guys.

Midna: (sighs) Alright, it's true. (hugs Link) In about 2 chapters' time, we're gonna be parents!

Midna3452: Isn't there some "light can't mix with shadow" thing?

The Prince: (shrugs) Not in MY realm there isn't!

Link: Yeah, we're gonna have to thank you for that, Prince.

Saria: YAY! (kid Link appears from nowhere and carrries her to some bedroom)

Midna3452: (sighs) young love…

The Prince: It makes me sick.

Ruto: (falls down, knocked from the boot)

Zant: (gets mulched cuz' he was too busy crying in THE CORNER to notice)

Zelda: (kills herself, avoiding dare)

Hosts: (read their dare)

The Prince: _**OH HELL NO. I WILL NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. EVER.**_

Godly345: (appears from nowhere) You don't have a choice! BYE! (laughs evilly)

Hosts: (get teleported to torture chamber with Navi, Elmo, Barney, and WACKO JACKO [But not that other guy, because I don't know who that is])

The Prince: _**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**_

M-Lord: (crying in fetal position on the ground)

Midna3452: (slamming her head against the wall) No! (slam) No! (slam) No! (slam) NO! (SLAM)

WACKO JACKO: Heh heh! (runs up to Midna3452 and humps her leg)

The Prince and Midna3452: (vomit)

The Prince: (runs up to WACKO JACKO with his Torture Sword) Die Spawn of Satan! (stops, remembering he can't attack them) I mean…please stop humping my co-worker's leg?

WACKO JACKO: You're right. (stops) I like boys better! (run after The Prince)

The Prince: AHHH! (runs)

M-Lord: (comes up with an idea) Wait, guys! I think I know a loop hole in the dare!

Midna3452: (trying to ignore Elmo, who won't shut up educational crap. And Navi, who just won't shut up) Well what is it?

The Prince: (still running) Yeah, WHAT IS IT? !

M-Lord: We're not allowed to kill these morons, correct?

The Prince: Yeah, why?

M-Lord: I know someone who'll be glad to kill them for us!

Midna3452: (ears bleeding) Who?

M-Lord: You'll see. (turns off the lights and plays the song 'Can you Feel The Sunshine?')

The Prince: (realizes who he's trying to bring) Oh! Brilliant! TAILS DOLL! WE HAVE SOULS FOR YOU!

Navi, Elmo, Barney, and WACKO JACKO: Huh?

Tails Doll: (appears in unholy flames) CAN YOU FEEL THE MOTHER(beep)ING SUNSHINE? ! DOES IT BRIGHTEN YOUR MOTHER(beep)ING DAY? !

Navi, Elmo, Barney, and WACKO JACKO: AHHHHHHHH!

Tails Doll: (brutally murders them all [except for the hosts])

The Prince: (relieved) Thanks, TD.

Tails Doll: (looks at The Prince) You're lucky You don't have a soul, Zerraforn, Or you would be next.

The Prince (Zerraforn?): Hey, I'm one of kind. See ya later TD.

Tails Doll: Yea, see ya. (disappears in unholy flames)

The Prince: (smiles) Such a nice guy. (turns to M-'lord and Midna3452 staring at him) What?

M-Lord: Why did he call you Zerraforn?

The Prince: (shrugs) It's my first name.

Midna3452: Prince Zerraforn?

The Prince: Yea.

M-Lord: Prince…ZF?

The Prince: Funny, right? Remember when I was called ZF? That's why.

Midna3452: Cool.

M-Lord: So…are we gonna go reclaim the show from Godly345?

The Prince: Hell, yeah! After this super annoying cliffhanger!

Midna3452 and M-Lord: (groan in annoyance)

_****_

_**Cliffhanger! WOOOOOOT!**_


End file.
